By Susan Thea Posnock
Okay, I'll say it right up front. It was DULL. It was one of the most boring Oscar ceremonies I've ever watched, despite my being thrilled with the clean sweep.
I had high expectations for some hobbity zaniness. In preparation I dressed in my “Frodo” best and decorated my home with “Leaves of Lorien” strewn about a spectacular “White Tree of Gondor” lamp. And believe me, that was quite the task in a small “one room to fit it all” studio apartment.
I'd invited all the usual suspects to come by and share the inevitable “Return of the King” victory with me: Sean, Elijah, Billy, Dom, Orlando and Viggo. Sadly, only “Orly” and “Vig” could make it. Must say they looked dashing. Instead of watching the parade of starlets and studs walking the red carpet, we flipped in a special preview copy of the “Return of the King” extended edition before the start of the ceremony.
Since this is my last “official” hobbit fiend column, I will share one more small snippet from it:
Aragorn leads the Captains of the West to the Black Gate of Mordor.
He gallops up on his horse, issuing a challenge: “Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Justice shall be done upon him.”
There is a long silence. Then a hideous and foul orc, (as opposed to the really HOT orcs), looks over the gate and yells out, “whose askin'?”
Aragorn answers, his voice majestic: “The King of Gondor.”
Ugly orc: “Whoop de damn do!”
After a short stand-off, the gate begins to creep open. In the distance, Aragorn sees the blinding Flaming Eye of Sauron shining over his army of hideous, deformed orcs. At its head is a tall and evil shape, mounted upon a black horse; huge and hideous, like a giant deformed Mr. Potato Head. “I am the Mouth of Sauron.”
Gimli, riding astride Legolas wonders aloud: “Looks more like a potato head to me, aye!”
The strange and hideous potato-mouth rides out to meet Aragorn and his band of merry men. No, that can't be right. Anyway, the Mouth rides out, turning to Aragorn and mocking him: “I see you've got that puny elvish sword. Like I'm really scared. Na na na goo goo you can't beat meeeeee!”
Gandalf rides forward: “What's your problem, bitch?”
Mr. Potato Head/Mouth: “Ha!!! You think your cool you old gray geezer! But lookie see what I have.”
Using his arm- like things (mini spuds?) the hideous potato-mouth takes out a bundle and throws it to the ground, revealing (to the shock and dismay of the Captains) Frodo's fancy shmancy mithril-mail coat, Sam's old sword, and a gray cloak with an elven-brooch…
Pippin: “Oh crap!”
It was at this moment that I awoke from my pre-Oscar dream, to the cold hard reality: I've alienated everyone I know with my “Lord of the Rings” obsession. So I settled in front of the television by myself, sadly eating my Keebler “Evlen-made” cookies. (Okay, the truth is I went to an Oscar party and still have friends despite my geekiness.)
Anyway, about that show. Oh what a show. So predictable. But, I couldn't be happier with the ROTK results. That's right baby, you bow to no one.
But, like the movie, just when you think it's over, just a few more curtain calls from fans.
In addition to “concerned” phone calls from family members, my recent diary asking fans to send in other suggestions for other awards the LOTR cast could win elicited very enthusiastic response. My inbox was inundated with pleas from geeks out there who wanted to see the cast rewarded on Oscar night. In reality, the cast had to bow with the film's big win and accept Peter Jackson's and others praise, but here's a few more. (Those of you who aren't fans may just want to stop reading now, if you even got this far. Go ahead; go back to the little corner you've been weeping in. You have my sympathy.)
New Oscar Categories the “Lord of the Rings” would dominate:
Eryn Justice wrote:
Viggo Mortensen - Best affectionate fondling of a lover's ear.
My response: I must ask, when you admire Viggo's ear fondling, are you referring to Arwen or Brego (his horse)? (And by the way, saw Hidalgo last night and Viggo has the most incredible chemistry with horses.)
The slightly nerdy and v. v. strange ~Elz~ wrote:
Best person to look bug-eyed, tired, verging on insanity and hot: Elijah Wood
My response: See, I always find tired, bug-eyed, insane guys hot, nothing strange there.
Theclar131 wrote:
Best twitchy man: John Noble as Denethor
And Andrea A added:
Best performance by a fruit or vegetable: The tomato of Denethor
My response: See, the key to that scene is that it brilliantly combines Noble's twitchiness with the tomatoes juiciness.
Ruth Purkey wrote:
Best kick-ass hot chick performance: can we really leave out Shelob???
My response: Good choice, Ruth. Everyone goes crazy for Andy Serkis as Gollum, but few people realize that Shelob was also based on the performance of a real actress: Elizabeth Taylor (Thanks to crazy ex-boyfriend Ray of culturevulture.tv, for coming up with this suggestion for an actress on the spot!)
Morgan Robertson wrote:
No Frodo? pfeh! Put out an article on the guy in the gimp suit and Sam -- with NO mention of Frodo? Not nice.... not nice at all....
My response: Oh, I've given Elijah lots of love all Oscar season. Check out my earlier columns and you'll see my glowing thoughts on the big-eyed one.
Jeffrey Star wrote:
Best Writer/Director wedded couple: Fran Walsh and Peter Jackson
My response: Yes, Fran and Peter rock. Even without hair products
Ryan Robison wrote:
Best-Extremely-Fast-Stair-Climbing-Considering-How-Long-It-Took-To-Climb-Them-The-First-Time: Samwise Gamgee ("Look! Lembas! Gollum must've framed me!" 3 seconds later: "Release him you filth!")
My response: Of course, the real Oscar belongs to the Lembas, which managed to reform itself after falling apart in the fall. Hey, nobody ever said it wasn't fantasy.
Gail Froomkin wrote:
Best use of dirt to make an otherwise handsome actor look AMAZINGLY hot- to the makeup team who scruffed up Viggo Mortensen
My response: Yes, Viggooooooooooooo and dirt…hmmm…lost my train of thought.
David wrote:
Your therapy has been approved. Please make an appointment with one of our OCD specialists as soon as possible. Good luck.
My response: Thanks for your concern, David. See you for that big family get-together next week. (David is my brother-in-law.)
My hobbity-sounding ex-boyfriend Paul wrote:
Best Deranged Semi-Employed “LOTR” Fanboy – Thea
My response: Whatever.
And finally, Audrey wrote:
Nice column honey, you're so bright and funny and beautiful. I love you!
My response: Thanks Mom!
And not just thanks to mom (and dad, also a big fan of the column), but to all of the friends who mocked me, family who disowned me, and fans who wrote me, as I shared my deeply personal obsession with all things LOTR. It's been a great ride.
Until “The Hobbit”…
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Oscar Predictions
By Susan Thea Posnock
I've put it off long enough, but its time to pick my Oscar winners.
I keep hearing how boring this Oscar season has been. Not the case for those of us who are “Lord of the Rings” fans. We've been waiting three years for this. Back when “The Fellowship of the Ring” lost to “A Beautiful Mind,” I said to myself, they're waiting for the last one to decide for sure. The time has come.
Without further delay, my picks:
Best Picture:
I'm nearly 100 percent sure that “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” is unbeatable. But, I'll reserve about 2 percent of doubt that is really just a cushion from bitter disappointment. Had there truly been a more worthy film of these nominees, my doubts would be greater. But I've seen them all, some more than once, and ROTK is simply the best. It's the best of this year, and it ranks as one of the best films of all time. I've heard critics here or there complain, “it's not fair for the other films to have to compete against three films.” My response: Bull. Was it fair that FOTR, clearly deserving of the Oscar for best pic, was denied simply because it was only part one of the whole? And if ROTK does win, it won't be a reward for all three films, it will be a reward for part three succeeding on just about every level and living up to expectations that grew with each film. It will win, it should win.
“Lost in Translation” is a great film. Moving to me on a very personal level, but it's just not in the same league. It's like comparing a great and powerful symphony to a simple, beautiful song. While both deserve to be recognized, if one must choose, I believe the symphony is more awards worthy.
“Master and Commander” kicks boo-tay, and in my opinion was robbed of acting nominations, even more so than ROTK (I'll get to that later). Beautifully executed and acted, and in another year, it would be my pick for winner. Not this year.
“ Mystic River ” is a film that I just didn't get the fuss about. It is a good, solid crime thriller. One that for me was completely ruined by a ridiculous third act. It is a work worthy of admiration, but not even close to being the best picture.
“Seabiscuit” is a nice, inspirational film. Period.
So, to review:
Will win: ROTK
Should win: ROTK
Should have been nominated: “American Splendor”
Spoiler: “ Mystic River ” (Oh please NOOOOOO!)
Best Director:
More of a lock for Peter Jackson than ROTK is a lock for BP. If he doesn't win, it will be regarded as one of the biggest oversights in Oscar history. I just don't see that happening.
Fernando Meirelles (“City of God ”) has been rewarded by the surprise nomination. I haven't seen the film, so I can say no more. Sofia Coppola for “Lost in Translation” would be an astounding choice. But she won't be the first woman to win Best Director. At least, not for “Lost in Translation.” I think she'll continue making great films though and I hope she does win it someday. Clint Eastwood won for the film he deserved to win for “Unforgiven,” and “ Mystic River ” will not give him a second Oscar. Peter Weir could win in any year but not this one.
Will win: Peter Jackson
Should win: Peter Jackson
Should have been nominated: Jim Sheridan for “In America”
Spoiler: Sofia Coppola
Best Actor:
Wow, I've really had a hard time deciding this one. My safe choice would be Sean Penn for “ Mystic River ,” not only does he elevate the film with his performance, but he was also amazing in “21 Grams.” And he's so due it's not even funny. When other actors have been over due they've gotten it for crap (like Al Pacino for “Scent of a Woman”) so at least his performance in MR is truly worthy. But then there's Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation.” Totally sublime. Had me with his humor and his sadness. Subtle and interesting. Also due, also completely worthy. In fact, if I'm just going on performance and not history, he is my choice… But then, there's Johnny Depp. Let's face it; “Pirates of the Caribbean ” is a bland romantic adventure without him. He doesn't just elevate the film, he makes it. His work is completely original and daring, funny and unforgettable. After much thought, Depp is my winner. I just think he's poised for the not-so-sneak attack. Penn and Murray will divide the vote and Depp will slide through.
As for Jude Law in “Cold Mountain,” he's the best thing in a decent but not great film, but just way too understated. He's got an Oscar win in him, but not this year. I didn't see “House of Sand and Fog,” which I regret. I'm sure Ben Kingsley is brilliant. But unless he is the beneficiary of the Penn/Murray split, he has no chance. I'd be shocked.
Will win: Johnny Depp
Should win: I think all three deserve it
Should have been nominated: Russell Crowe, I don't care if he's won or he's been over-nominated, he rocked in “Master and Commander” and he wuz robbed.
Spoiler: Sean Penn or Bill Murray (The favorites, I know, but this is reverse logic.)
Best Actress:
I can't fairly assess this category, because I haven't seen either “Monster” (favorite Charlize Theron) or “Something's Gotta Give” (comedy favorite Diane Keaton). But just from what I have seen and read, I do think Theron is a lock.
Keisha Castle-Hughes is the most likely spoiler, but I just don't see it happening. But she was wonderful in “Whale Rider” and she's adorable. We'll see her again. Naomi Watts is good in “21 Grams,” but she's got no chance here. And I was pretty surprised Samantha Morton got nominated for “In America,” over her more deserving co-stars (and I mean Sarah and Emma Bolger).
Will win: Charlize Theron
Should win: From what I've heard, Theron
Should have been nominated: Uma Thurman for kicking serious butt in “Kill Bill Vol. I”
Best Supporting Actor:
Everyone is picking Tim Robbins for “ Mystic River.” Gotta say, I really didn't like his performance, but I think he'll get the Oscar. Benicio Del Toro, on the other hand, is one of the most charismatic actors in film these days, and his work is breathtaking in “21 Grams.” I didn't love the film, but I loved every second he was on screen. He looks like crap, but he's just mesmerizing. But he won't win because he's already got one.
Didn't see “The Cooler” so I can't judge Alec Baldwin. I guess the idea of a Baldwin brother winning an Oscar has its appeal. Djimon Hounsou is one of the best parts of “In America,” but his role is really a stereotype. He makes it more, but I just can't get around that. Same with the dynamic Ken Watanabe in “The Last Samurai,” brilliant in what is essentially the “noble savage/warrior Tom Cruise side-kick” role. And he blows Cruise out of the water, so he deserves an Oscar for that alone.
Will win: Tim Robbins
Should win: Benicio Del Toro
Should have been nominated: Sean Astin for being the heart of ROTK, and Paul Bettany who is brilliant in “Master and Commander.” And as much as I love Astin, if these guys had both been nominated I'd want Bettany to win.
Spoiler: Alec Baldwin
Best Supporting Actress:
Of the nominees, I've only seen Marcia Gay Harden, who overacted her way through “Mystic River,” and Renee Zellweger who REALLY overacted her way through “Cold Mountain.” I'm gonna go for the surprise win though (over Zellweger the clear favorite) and pick Patricia Clarkson for “Pieces of April.” I'm sure Shohreh Aghdashloo is as good as her raves for “House of Sand and Fog” and Holly Hunter is always good, so why not in “Thirteen.” But my gut just tells me overlooked Clarkson will get the shocker win.
Will win: Patricia Clarkson
Should win: Don't know
Should have been nominated: Hope Davis for “American Splendor”
And now quickly through the rest of the categories:
Best Original Screenplay:
Will win: “Lost in Translation”
Should win: “Lost in Translation” (Sofia 's Oscar)
Best Adapted Screenplay
Will win: “ Mystic River ”
Should win: ROTK
So there ya have it. In my next column I'll discuss the actual results. Plus, a rundown of other awards LOTR should have won (as submitted by readers).
GO RINGS!!!!
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
I've put it off long enough, but its time to pick my Oscar winners.
I keep hearing how boring this Oscar season has been. Not the case for those of us who are “Lord of the Rings” fans. We've been waiting three years for this. Back when “The Fellowship of the Ring” lost to “A Beautiful Mind,” I said to myself, they're waiting for the last one to decide for sure. The time has come.
Without further delay, my picks:
Best Picture:
I'm nearly 100 percent sure that “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” is unbeatable. But, I'll reserve about 2 percent of doubt that is really just a cushion from bitter disappointment. Had there truly been a more worthy film of these nominees, my doubts would be greater. But I've seen them all, some more than once, and ROTK is simply the best. It's the best of this year, and it ranks as one of the best films of all time. I've heard critics here or there complain, “it's not fair for the other films to have to compete against three films.” My response: Bull. Was it fair that FOTR, clearly deserving of the Oscar for best pic, was denied simply because it was only part one of the whole? And if ROTK does win, it won't be a reward for all three films, it will be a reward for part three succeeding on just about every level and living up to expectations that grew with each film. It will win, it should win.
“Lost in Translation” is a great film. Moving to me on a very personal level, but it's just not in the same league. It's like comparing a great and powerful symphony to a simple, beautiful song. While both deserve to be recognized, if one must choose, I believe the symphony is more awards worthy.
“Master and Commander” kicks boo-tay, and in my opinion was robbed of acting nominations, even more so than ROTK (I'll get to that later). Beautifully executed and acted, and in another year, it would be my pick for winner. Not this year.
“ Mystic River ” is a film that I just didn't get the fuss about. It is a good, solid crime thriller. One that for me was completely ruined by a ridiculous third act. It is a work worthy of admiration, but not even close to being the best picture.
“Seabiscuit” is a nice, inspirational film. Period.
So, to review:
Will win: ROTK
Should win: ROTK
Should have been nominated: “American Splendor”
Spoiler: “ Mystic River ” (Oh please NOOOOOO!)
Best Director:
More of a lock for Peter Jackson than ROTK is a lock for BP. If he doesn't win, it will be regarded as one of the biggest oversights in Oscar history. I just don't see that happening.
Fernando Meirelles (“City of God ”) has been rewarded by the surprise nomination. I haven't seen the film, so I can say no more. Sofia Coppola for “Lost in Translation” would be an astounding choice. But she won't be the first woman to win Best Director. At least, not for “Lost in Translation.” I think she'll continue making great films though and I hope she does win it someday. Clint Eastwood won for the film he deserved to win for “Unforgiven,” and “ Mystic River ” will not give him a second Oscar. Peter Weir could win in any year but not this one.
Will win: Peter Jackson
Should win: Peter Jackson
Should have been nominated: Jim Sheridan for “In America”
Spoiler: Sofia Coppola
Best Actor:
Wow, I've really had a hard time deciding this one. My safe choice would be Sean Penn for “ Mystic River ,” not only does he elevate the film with his performance, but he was also amazing in “21 Grams.” And he's so due it's not even funny. When other actors have been over due they've gotten it for crap (like Al Pacino for “Scent of a Woman”) so at least his performance in MR is truly worthy. But then there's Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation.” Totally sublime. Had me with his humor and his sadness. Subtle and interesting. Also due, also completely worthy. In fact, if I'm just going on performance and not history, he is my choice… But then, there's Johnny Depp. Let's face it; “Pirates of the Caribbean ” is a bland romantic adventure without him. He doesn't just elevate the film, he makes it. His work is completely original and daring, funny and unforgettable. After much thought, Depp is my winner. I just think he's poised for the not-so-sneak attack. Penn and Murray will divide the vote and Depp will slide through.
As for Jude Law in “Cold Mountain,” he's the best thing in a decent but not great film, but just way too understated. He's got an Oscar win in him, but not this year. I didn't see “House of Sand and Fog,” which I regret. I'm sure Ben Kingsley is brilliant. But unless he is the beneficiary of the Penn/Murray split, he has no chance. I'd be shocked.
Will win: Johnny Depp
Should win: I think all three deserve it
Should have been nominated: Russell Crowe, I don't care if he's won or he's been over-nominated, he rocked in “Master and Commander” and he wuz robbed.
Spoiler: Sean Penn or Bill Murray (The favorites, I know, but this is reverse logic.)
Best Actress:
I can't fairly assess this category, because I haven't seen either “Monster” (favorite Charlize Theron) or “Something's Gotta Give” (comedy favorite Diane Keaton). But just from what I have seen and read, I do think Theron is a lock.
Keisha Castle-Hughes is the most likely spoiler, but I just don't see it happening. But she was wonderful in “Whale Rider” and she's adorable. We'll see her again. Naomi Watts is good in “21 Grams,” but she's got no chance here. And I was pretty surprised Samantha Morton got nominated for “In America,” over her more deserving co-stars (and I mean Sarah and Emma Bolger).
Will win: Charlize Theron
Should win: From what I've heard, Theron
Should have been nominated: Uma Thurman for kicking serious butt in “Kill Bill Vol. I”
Best Supporting Actor:
Everyone is picking Tim Robbins for “ Mystic River.” Gotta say, I really didn't like his performance, but I think he'll get the Oscar. Benicio Del Toro, on the other hand, is one of the most charismatic actors in film these days, and his work is breathtaking in “21 Grams.” I didn't love the film, but I loved every second he was on screen. He looks like crap, but he's just mesmerizing. But he won't win because he's already got one.
Didn't see “The Cooler” so I can't judge Alec Baldwin. I guess the idea of a Baldwin brother winning an Oscar has its appeal. Djimon Hounsou is one of the best parts of “In America,” but his role is really a stereotype. He makes it more, but I just can't get around that. Same with the dynamic Ken Watanabe in “The Last Samurai,” brilliant in what is essentially the “noble savage/warrior Tom Cruise side-kick” role. And he blows Cruise out of the water, so he deserves an Oscar for that alone.
Will win: Tim Robbins
Should win: Benicio Del Toro
Should have been nominated: Sean Astin for being the heart of ROTK, and Paul Bettany who is brilliant in “Master and Commander.” And as much as I love Astin, if these guys had both been nominated I'd want Bettany to win.
Spoiler: Alec Baldwin
Best Supporting Actress:
Of the nominees, I've only seen Marcia Gay Harden, who overacted her way through “Mystic River,” and Renee Zellweger who REALLY overacted her way through “Cold Mountain.” I'm gonna go for the surprise win though (over Zellweger the clear favorite) and pick Patricia Clarkson for “Pieces of April.” I'm sure Shohreh Aghdashloo is as good as her raves for “House of Sand and Fog” and Holly Hunter is always good, so why not in “Thirteen.” But my gut just tells me overlooked Clarkson will get the shocker win.
Will win: Patricia Clarkson
Should win: Don't know
Should have been nominated: Hope Davis for “American Splendor”
And now quickly through the rest of the categories:
Best Original Screenplay:
Will win: “Lost in Translation”
Should win: “Lost in Translation” (Sofia 's Oscar)
Best Adapted Screenplay
Will win: “ Mystic River ”
Should win: ROTK
So there ya have it. In my next column I'll discuss the actual results. Plus, a rundown of other awards LOTR should have won (as submitted by readers).
GO RINGS!!!!
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
For Your Reconsideration
By Susan Thea Posnock
Less than two weeks until the big night and I've been trying to come up with a way for “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” to break the all-time record for Oscar wins. I know, I know, with 11 nominations the best it could do is tie “Titanic' and “Ben-Hur.” As we all know, a tie is like kissing your brother and I'll have none of that. What we need is a good old-fashioned grassroots write-in campaign for Sean Astin and Miranda Otto.
Now, Sean probably just missed out on getting nominated and his work has been highly praised. Oscar voters, you know how to right this terrible wrong. Come on, say it with me: “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!” (But please don't write in Rudy, as that would be really weird if Rudy Ruettinger won an Oscar. And personally, I don't want to see a sequel to the first film.) If you MUST stick with one of the actual nominees, please go for Ken Watanabe in “The Last Samurai,” who nearly saves that film (but doesn't thanks to uber-man Tom Cruise).
As for Miranda, while great in her small role, she probably suffered from some of the edits in the theatrical version.
The bad news is those scenes won't be available for viewing until the Extended Edition DVD comes out. The good news is I was able to get a sneak peak at some exciting moments that will be restored! I bet you're wondering how a semi-employed LOTR fanatic managed such a coup? Let's just say I've got my connections and they are as vast as my imagination.
Because I'm such a generous person, I've decided to give you my readers, (plus you lovely bastards at the Academy that BETTER vote win win win for ROTK), a sneak peak:
Howard Shore's beautiful, soon-to-be Oscar-winning score becomes haunting as we see the fair Eowyn, injured from her deadly tango with the Witch King, lying still in the Houses of Healing. Aragorn watches over, his eyes shining on her translucently glowing white skin.
He whispers: “Damn, you really are a babe.”
Ioreth, the Nurse in the Houses of Healing: “The hands of the king are the hands of the healer.”
Aragorn: “Oh yeahhhhh, I'll use my hands.”
Eowyn stirs: “I'm … garble … wretch … no …. Man.”
Ioreth: “You tell ‘em sister!”
Aragorn: “Excuse me, you'll have to leave the room.”
Ioreth: “No, according to HOH procedure, a nurse must be present at all times. But now you remind me of the time the Steward came in to remove a wart…”
Aragorn: “Um, yes, that's usually the protocol, but you must find um, you know, some Kingsfoil, the hands alone cannot heal. And I need absolute silence. Please lock the door on your way out.”
Ioreth: “Yes, my lord.”
Aragorn proceeds to “heal” Eowyn using his hands.
Afterward, he lights up some pipe weed.
Aragorn: “So like, Eowyn. I think you're really sweet and all, but see there's this Elf chick.”
Eowyn: “Men.”
Later…
Eowyn is healed, but the wound to her heart is still clear on her stern, pale, beautiful snow-white face. She walks solemnly through the grounds, sighing occasionally.
Eowyn: “Sigh. Woe is me. I love him, yet he loves her. And she probably loves somebody else. Love stinks.”
Suddenly, Faramir, recovering from nearly being burned alive and pierced by a foul Orc arrow, stumbles upon Eowyn.
Faramir, quietly to himself: “Whoa, what a babe. Gonna get me some of that.” To Eowyn: “My fair lady, why are you so forlorn?”
Eowyn: “I deliver the best line in the damn movie and all I get as an encore is a quick cut of me smiling at you during the big crowning scene? Is there no justice? Can I not be in as many scenes as the men, aren't I deserving?”
Faramir: “How do you think I feel? I'm the most fair-minded character in the book and I've been reduced to the pathetic pawn of my deranged father. At least you get to speak in your scenes. I spend the second half of the film passed out.”
Eowyn: “Oh. That does indeed, suck.”
Faramir: “Eowyn, I know your heart aches for Aragorn. But let's face it, you're hot. As luck would have it, so am I. Wadda ya say?”
Eowyn: “Men.”
They proceed to make out.
As you can see, these Oscar-worthy moments not only enhance Miranda's performance, but also that of David Wenham as Faramir. If a traditional Oscar cannot honor these fine actors (along with every other cast member in all three films), I propose some “special awards” for the cast of LOTR:
Best performance while scampering about in a weird
bodysuit: Andy Serkis as Gollum
Best crying: Sean Astin
Best menacing lighthouse beacon: The Flaming Eye of Sauron
Best kick-ass hot chick performance: Miranda Otto
Best kick-ass hot guy performance: Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen
Best Dwarf: John Rhys-Davies
Best Nice Wizard Performance: Sir Ian McKellen
Best Bad Wizard Performance: Christopher Lee
Best onscreen brothers: Sean Bean and David Wenham.
And in addition to the much-deserved Best Director Oscar, here's hoping Peter Jackson also wins the coveted: Most Cuddly-Looking Director.
Please feel free to send me suggestions for other new categories LOTR should win and stay tuned for next week's Oscar predictions…
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Less than two weeks until the big night and I've been trying to come up with a way for “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” to break the all-time record for Oscar wins. I know, I know, with 11 nominations the best it could do is tie “Titanic' and “Ben-Hur.” As we all know, a tie is like kissing your brother and I'll have none of that. What we need is a good old-fashioned grassroots write-in campaign for Sean Astin and Miranda Otto.
Now, Sean probably just missed out on getting nominated and his work has been highly praised. Oscar voters, you know how to right this terrible wrong. Come on, say it with me: “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!” (But please don't write in Rudy, as that would be really weird if Rudy Ruettinger won an Oscar. And personally, I don't want to see a sequel to the first film.) If you MUST stick with one of the actual nominees, please go for Ken Watanabe in “The Last Samurai,” who nearly saves that film (but doesn't thanks to uber-man Tom Cruise).
As for Miranda, while great in her small role, she probably suffered from some of the edits in the theatrical version.
The bad news is those scenes won't be available for viewing until the Extended Edition DVD comes out. The good news is I was able to get a sneak peak at some exciting moments that will be restored! I bet you're wondering how a semi-employed LOTR fanatic managed such a coup? Let's just say I've got my connections and they are as vast as my imagination.
Because I'm such a generous person, I've decided to give you my readers, (plus you lovely bastards at the Academy that BETTER vote win win win for ROTK), a sneak peak:
Howard Shore's beautiful, soon-to-be Oscar-winning score becomes haunting as we see the fair Eowyn, injured from her deadly tango with the Witch King, lying still in the Houses of Healing. Aragorn watches over, his eyes shining on her translucently glowing white skin.
He whispers: “Damn, you really are a babe.”
Ioreth, the Nurse in the Houses of Healing: “The hands of the king are the hands of the healer.”
Aragorn: “Oh yeahhhhh, I'll use my hands.”
Eowyn stirs: “I'm … garble … wretch … no …. Man.”
Ioreth: “You tell ‘em sister!”
Aragorn: “Excuse me, you'll have to leave the room.”
Ioreth: “No, according to HOH procedure, a nurse must be present at all times. But now you remind me of the time the Steward came in to remove a wart…”
Aragorn: “Um, yes, that's usually the protocol, but you must find um, you know, some Kingsfoil, the hands alone cannot heal. And I need absolute silence. Please lock the door on your way out.”
Ioreth: “Yes, my lord.”
Aragorn proceeds to “heal” Eowyn using his hands.
Afterward, he lights up some pipe weed.
Aragorn: “So like, Eowyn. I think you're really sweet and all, but see there's this Elf chick.”
Eowyn: “Men.”
Later…
Eowyn is healed, but the wound to her heart is still clear on her stern, pale, beautiful snow-white face. She walks solemnly through the grounds, sighing occasionally.
Eowyn: “Sigh. Woe is me. I love him, yet he loves her. And she probably loves somebody else. Love stinks.”
Suddenly, Faramir, recovering from nearly being burned alive and pierced by a foul Orc arrow, stumbles upon Eowyn.
Faramir, quietly to himself: “Whoa, what a babe. Gonna get me some of that.” To Eowyn: “My fair lady, why are you so forlorn?”
Eowyn: “I deliver the best line in the damn movie and all I get as an encore is a quick cut of me smiling at you during the big crowning scene? Is there no justice? Can I not be in as many scenes as the men, aren't I deserving?”
Faramir: “How do you think I feel? I'm the most fair-minded character in the book and I've been reduced to the pathetic pawn of my deranged father. At least you get to speak in your scenes. I spend the second half of the film passed out.”
Eowyn: “Oh. That does indeed, suck.”
Faramir: “Eowyn, I know your heart aches for Aragorn. But let's face it, you're hot. As luck would have it, so am I. Wadda ya say?”
Eowyn: “Men.”
They proceed to make out.
As you can see, these Oscar-worthy moments not only enhance Miranda's performance, but also that of David Wenham as Faramir. If a traditional Oscar cannot honor these fine actors (along with every other cast member in all three films), I propose some “special awards” for the cast of LOTR:
Best performance while scampering about in a weird
bodysuit: Andy Serkis as Gollum
Best crying: Sean Astin
Best menacing lighthouse beacon: The Flaming Eye of Sauron
Best kick-ass hot chick performance: Miranda Otto
Best kick-ass hot guy performance: Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen
Best Dwarf: John Rhys-Davies
Best Nice Wizard Performance: Sir Ian McKellen
Best Bad Wizard Performance: Christopher Lee
Best onscreen brothers: Sean Bean and David Wenham.
And in addition to the much-deserved Best Director Oscar, here's hoping Peter Jackson also wins the coveted: Most Cuddly-Looking Director.
Please feel free to send me suggestions for other new categories LOTR should win and stay tuned for next week's Oscar predictions…
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Oscar Nomination Reaction and the Fiend’s Personal Best of 2003
By Susan Thea Posnock
So, the nominations are in and “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” is up for 11 Oscars. Can’t say I’m disappointed. While I was hoping Sean Astin would get in, his exclusion is not a shock. I'm not angry and don't think this is a "boycott the Oscars" type of snub. It would have been great to see individual actors recognized for the film, but it is a true ensemble piece. I’m not going to be bitter about this when there is so much to celebrate as a fan.
Actually, I’m more surprised that both Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany were overlooked for “Master and Commander,” especially given that film’s strong support with 10 nominations.
Biggest surprises: Keisha Castle-Hughes of “Whale Rider” (it is literally sitting in my DVD player, ready to be watched), and “City of God” getting screenplay and director nominations. (Note to self: See “City of God.”)
A lot of folks are shocked by the virtual “Cold Mountain” lockout, and I had picked it for Best Picture and Director, thinking the Miramax marketing machine would win out in the end. Must say I’m pleased, as the only truly deserving nominee from the film, Jude Law, was included. (No, I don’t think Renee Zellweger deserves the nomination. I like her but her work here is unsubtle and annoying. In other words, totally “Oscar-worthy,” heh. But I will note that she looks much better with a little meat on them skinny bones.) But thinking about the snubs to Harvey Weinstein and crew, I think its part of a backlash that has been building up over the last couple of years (despite victories like “Chicago”) that finally manifested itself more dramatically.
Anyway, more about the nominations after I’ve digested them. On to the best films of 2003.
Not every film I loved this year involved hobbits. In fact, some involved different types of “little people.” Others had different kinds of elves. And one or two had actors from LOTR, but I swear, that’s NOT why they made my top ten! Honestly.
In looking back, there are still films I need to see, especially now that the nominations are out. These include “City of God,” “Whale Rider,” “21 Grams,” “A Mighty Wind,” and “House of Sand and Fog.” So this list can only represent a small portion of what was released last year.
1. “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King”
One could argue that I made up my mind about this film long before I saw it. That there was no way I could possibly prefer another film to it in 2003. Well, they would be right. Sort of. I’ve given this a lot of thought. And while I am extremely fond of my number two film of the year, there is something that ROTK has that puts it above any film I’ve seen in the last decade: an incredibly high chill/emotion factor. In other words, it either brought me to tears gave me chills, or both, many times. How did it chill me, let me count just some of the ways:
• Arwen’s vision and return
• Lighting the beacons
• Eowyn to Merry: Ride with me.
• Elrond to Aragorn: Become who you were born to be.
• Théoden: Death!!!
• Eowyn to the Witch King: I am no man!
• Sam takes on Shelob
• Sam takes on the tower: “that’s for Frodo, that’s for the Shire, and that’s for my Old Gaffer!”
• Gandalf and Pippin and the white shores
• Sam to Frodo: I can’t carry it, but I can carry you!
• Frodo: The Ring is mine!
• Gollum’s face at the end
• We saved Shire, but not for me
(Update: I just read through this two years later and some of these lines STILL give me chills.)
And many, many more.
2. “Lost in Translation”
First, let me point out that there is no connection to LOTR here. Although, Scarlett Johansson is a bit “elvish,” if you think about it… In any case, LIT is a special film. In any other year, it would easily be my favorite. Many films explore the subject of human connection, but few do it so successfully—deep and profound without being pretentious. It reminds me of Wong Kar-Wai’s “In the Mood For Love,” and I haven’t read much into this, but it seems Sofia Coppola was indeed inspired by that film (the words we cannot hear between the sublime Bill Murray and Johansson at the end, for example). Maybe it is the language barrier, but I found LIT to be more accessible than Kar-Wai’s film. Perhaps it’s just the point I’m at in my life, but I also identified strongly with both characters. Shortly after seeing it I had an epiphany about love and connections. Whenever cinema intersects so profoundly with my own life, I can’t help but feel a bit awed.
3. “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”
I’ve always had a thing for Russell Crowe. But since “LA Confidential,” I haven’t really loved him in a movie. Strange I know, considering “Gladiator” and “A Beautiful Mind,” among others. Perhaps its because even in his best performances (with the exception of “LA Confidential” and “The Insider”) I always feel like I’m watching Russell Crowe acting and I’m unable to really get caught up in the character. With Capt. Jack Aubrey I was still aware of Mr. Crowe, but it’s like he WAS Aubrey in another life and it’s okay. This is what star power in a film should be (pay attention Tom Cruise). Even better, he shares the screen splendidly with the rest of this game cast (yes, that’s Billy Boyd AKA Pippin in there), in particular Paul Bettany. Whether acting together or playing their duets together, the two make beautiful music when they’re onscreen (sorry, couldn’t resist). Bettany (that Jennifer Connelly is a LUCKY woman), has been stealing scenes since “A Knight’s Tale,” but what makes him so good here isn’t that he takes the film from Crowe, but that they masterfully steer it together (once again, couldn’t resist). I know I didn’t predict it would make the Oscar shortlist for Best Picture, but I’m really glad I was proven wrong.
4. “American Splendor”
A film like “American Splendor” puts up a wall, and viewers either feel like they’re inside sharing an intimate experience with the characters (in this case both the real versions and the performed ones), or they feel like they’re on the outside looking in, unable to really access the story. Even though I didn’t know who Harvey Pekar was before seeing AS, I was glad to discover him and this unique approach to filmmaking worked for me. Pekar and his vision are warped with the mundane of every day life. It seems very simple on the surface, but like LIT hits in unexpected ways. I was moved by its life-kinda-sucks-yet-it’s-still sorta-beautiful viewpoint.
5. “Bad Santa”
Bad Santa is all about tone. In this case a bitter, painfully funny tone. Toward the end, the film teases the audience with getting too sentimental, and then too dark. But it’s a brilliant comedy because it manages to straddle the line and remain decidedly unsentimental without being heartless. Billy Bob Thornton is at his most pathetic. He’s a piss-drunk, safe-cracking, kid-hating Santa with a heart of gold. Well, maybe not quite gold. I loved him. But not as much as I loved Brett Kelly as “Thurman Merman,” who is pretty much the oddball outsider kid antidote for overly sweet or precocious child actors.
6. “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl”
Okay, let me just say for the record that Orlando Bloom as Legolas is damn pretty. But as Will Turner, the “traditional” hero of Pirates, he’s pretty AND handsome. Okay, he’s HOT. Swoon. And then there’s Johnny Depp. Oh how I’ve loved thee since the days of “21 Jump Street” (even though you probably hate that many of us discovered you there). As the “non-traditional” hero of the film, he’s also swoon-worthy (though in a weird eyeliner-wearing, fake English accent blokey pirate sort of way). He definitely puts a bit of swish in his swashbuckling. This one is way too clever for a Jerry Bruckheimer production, but I guess you never know.
7. “In America”
This film had me from the get-go because of those two wonderful performances from sisters Sarah and Emma Bolger. They were so natural, on a personal note, really reminding me of my nieces. “In America” is the type of story, especially given its personal roots, that could have been sappy and unbearable in the hands of a less gifted filmmaker. But with Jim Sheridan’s touch it gives off a warm, sad glow.
8. “Elf”
In an alternate universe, Will Ferrell would be up for Best Actor for his perfect embodiment of a certain type of elfdom. Since seeing Elf, I’ve had this fantasy in my mind where Ferrell shows up at Helm’s Deep and kicks ass along side Legolas and Gimli. Can’t you just picture him taking part in their body count contest??? Tee hee hee. Sorry. Anyway, the film does get a bit too sweet at the end, but its just so charming and funny. And it’s also very New York City, where one can find the World’s Best Cup of Coffee… on every block.
9. “Kill Bill: Vol. 1”
A film reviled by some and loved by others. I’d say I’m somewhere in the middle. The energy and chutzpah of “Kill Bill” are what makes it more than just a rundown of Quentin Tarntino’s film-geek dreams. Whatever you think of this first volume, it certainly has plenty of blood pumping through it—and out of it. In some ways a brilliant mess that may or may not improve once Vol. 2 comes out this year.
10. “Big Fish”
A bit too whimsical for some, it’s the ending of “Big Fish” that won me over. It blends the real with the surreal in a poetic way. To me, it’s a lovely homage to the art of storytelling.
Other notable films/performances:
The film that I most related to as New Yorker still haunted by 9/11: “The Guys”
The film that makes me want to marry Jack Black: “School of Rock” (just a shade off my top ten).
The best looking/sounding/feeling film that got corrupted by star power: “The Last Samurai”
The sexiest male performance: Alessandro Nivola as the British rock star in “Laurel Canyon.”
The sexiest female performance: Frances McDormand as the aging record producer in “Laurel Canyon.”
Sexiest scene that didn’t involve actual sex: Christian Bale and Natascha McElhone in the car in “Laurel Canyon.”
The best female comic performance: Jamie Lee Curtis in “Freaky Friday.”
Best kid’s film: “Holes”
Best horse film: “Seabiscuit”
Best apocalyptic film: “28 Days Later…”
Best opportunity to ogle Hugh Jackman despite the weird hairdo: “X2: X-Men United”
Best movie to fall asleep to: “Winged Migration”
Hottest Elf: Legolas
Funniest Elf: Will Ferrell
Crudest Elf: Tony Cox in “Bad Santa”
Best reason for Santa fetish: Lauren Graham’s explanation to Billy Bob’s “Bad Santa.”
I could go on forever, but I wont.
Go ROTK!!!!
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
So, the nominations are in and “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” is up for 11 Oscars. Can’t say I’m disappointed. While I was hoping Sean Astin would get in, his exclusion is not a shock. I'm not angry and don't think this is a "boycott the Oscars" type of snub. It would have been great to see individual actors recognized for the film, but it is a true ensemble piece. I’m not going to be bitter about this when there is so much to celebrate as a fan.
Actually, I’m more surprised that both Russell Crowe and Paul Bettany were overlooked for “Master and Commander,” especially given that film’s strong support with 10 nominations.
Biggest surprises: Keisha Castle-Hughes of “Whale Rider” (it is literally sitting in my DVD player, ready to be watched), and “City of God” getting screenplay and director nominations. (Note to self: See “City of God.”)
A lot of folks are shocked by the virtual “Cold Mountain” lockout, and I had picked it for Best Picture and Director, thinking the Miramax marketing machine would win out in the end. Must say I’m pleased, as the only truly deserving nominee from the film, Jude Law, was included. (No, I don’t think Renee Zellweger deserves the nomination. I like her but her work here is unsubtle and annoying. In other words, totally “Oscar-worthy,” heh. But I will note that she looks much better with a little meat on them skinny bones.) But thinking about the snubs to Harvey Weinstein and crew, I think its part of a backlash that has been building up over the last couple of years (despite victories like “Chicago”) that finally manifested itself more dramatically.
Anyway, more about the nominations after I’ve digested them. On to the best films of 2003.
Not every film I loved this year involved hobbits. In fact, some involved different types of “little people.” Others had different kinds of elves. And one or two had actors from LOTR, but I swear, that’s NOT why they made my top ten! Honestly.
In looking back, there are still films I need to see, especially now that the nominations are out. These include “City of God,” “Whale Rider,” “21 Grams,” “A Mighty Wind,” and “House of Sand and Fog.” So this list can only represent a small portion of what was released last year.
1. “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King”
One could argue that I made up my mind about this film long before I saw it. That there was no way I could possibly prefer another film to it in 2003. Well, they would be right. Sort of. I’ve given this a lot of thought. And while I am extremely fond of my number two film of the year, there is something that ROTK has that puts it above any film I’ve seen in the last decade: an incredibly high chill/emotion factor. In other words, it either brought me to tears gave me chills, or both, many times. How did it chill me, let me count just some of the ways:
• Arwen’s vision and return
• Lighting the beacons
• Eowyn to Merry: Ride with me.
• Elrond to Aragorn: Become who you were born to be.
• Théoden: Death!!!
• Eowyn to the Witch King: I am no man!
• Sam takes on Shelob
• Sam takes on the tower: “that’s for Frodo, that’s for the Shire, and that’s for my Old Gaffer!”
• Gandalf and Pippin and the white shores
• Sam to Frodo: I can’t carry it, but I can carry you!
• Frodo: The Ring is mine!
• Gollum’s face at the end
• We saved Shire, but not for me
(Update: I just read through this two years later and some of these lines STILL give me chills.)
And many, many more.
2. “Lost in Translation”
First, let me point out that there is no connection to LOTR here. Although, Scarlett Johansson is a bit “elvish,” if you think about it… In any case, LIT is a special film. In any other year, it would easily be my favorite. Many films explore the subject of human connection, but few do it so successfully—deep and profound without being pretentious. It reminds me of Wong Kar-Wai’s “In the Mood For Love,” and I haven’t read much into this, but it seems Sofia Coppola was indeed inspired by that film (the words we cannot hear between the sublime Bill Murray and Johansson at the end, for example). Maybe it is the language barrier, but I found LIT to be more accessible than Kar-Wai’s film. Perhaps it’s just the point I’m at in my life, but I also identified strongly with both characters. Shortly after seeing it I had an epiphany about love and connections. Whenever cinema intersects so profoundly with my own life, I can’t help but feel a bit awed.
3. “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”
I’ve always had a thing for Russell Crowe. But since “LA Confidential,” I haven’t really loved him in a movie. Strange I know, considering “Gladiator” and “A Beautiful Mind,” among others. Perhaps its because even in his best performances (with the exception of “LA Confidential” and “The Insider”) I always feel like I’m watching Russell Crowe acting and I’m unable to really get caught up in the character. With Capt. Jack Aubrey I was still aware of Mr. Crowe, but it’s like he WAS Aubrey in another life and it’s okay. This is what star power in a film should be (pay attention Tom Cruise). Even better, he shares the screen splendidly with the rest of this game cast (yes, that’s Billy Boyd AKA Pippin in there), in particular Paul Bettany. Whether acting together or playing their duets together, the two make beautiful music when they’re onscreen (sorry, couldn’t resist). Bettany (that Jennifer Connelly is a LUCKY woman), has been stealing scenes since “A Knight’s Tale,” but what makes him so good here isn’t that he takes the film from Crowe, but that they masterfully steer it together (once again, couldn’t resist). I know I didn’t predict it would make the Oscar shortlist for Best Picture, but I’m really glad I was proven wrong.
4. “American Splendor”
A film like “American Splendor” puts up a wall, and viewers either feel like they’re inside sharing an intimate experience with the characters (in this case both the real versions and the performed ones), or they feel like they’re on the outside looking in, unable to really access the story. Even though I didn’t know who Harvey Pekar was before seeing AS, I was glad to discover him and this unique approach to filmmaking worked for me. Pekar and his vision are warped with the mundane of every day life. It seems very simple on the surface, but like LIT hits in unexpected ways. I was moved by its life-kinda-sucks-yet-it’s-still sorta-beautiful viewpoint.
5. “Bad Santa”
Bad Santa is all about tone. In this case a bitter, painfully funny tone. Toward the end, the film teases the audience with getting too sentimental, and then too dark. But it’s a brilliant comedy because it manages to straddle the line and remain decidedly unsentimental without being heartless. Billy Bob Thornton is at his most pathetic. He’s a piss-drunk, safe-cracking, kid-hating Santa with a heart of gold. Well, maybe not quite gold. I loved him. But not as much as I loved Brett Kelly as “Thurman Merman,” who is pretty much the oddball outsider kid antidote for overly sweet or precocious child actors.
6. “Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl”
Okay, let me just say for the record that Orlando Bloom as Legolas is damn pretty. But as Will Turner, the “traditional” hero of Pirates, he’s pretty AND handsome. Okay, he’s HOT. Swoon. And then there’s Johnny Depp. Oh how I’ve loved thee since the days of “21 Jump Street” (even though you probably hate that many of us discovered you there). As the “non-traditional” hero of the film, he’s also swoon-worthy (though in a weird eyeliner-wearing, fake English accent blokey pirate sort of way). He definitely puts a bit of swish in his swashbuckling. This one is way too clever for a Jerry Bruckheimer production, but I guess you never know.
7. “In America”
This film had me from the get-go because of those two wonderful performances from sisters Sarah and Emma Bolger. They were so natural, on a personal note, really reminding me of my nieces. “In America” is the type of story, especially given its personal roots, that could have been sappy and unbearable in the hands of a less gifted filmmaker. But with Jim Sheridan’s touch it gives off a warm, sad glow.
8. “Elf”
In an alternate universe, Will Ferrell would be up for Best Actor for his perfect embodiment of a certain type of elfdom. Since seeing Elf, I’ve had this fantasy in my mind where Ferrell shows up at Helm’s Deep and kicks ass along side Legolas and Gimli. Can’t you just picture him taking part in their body count contest??? Tee hee hee. Sorry. Anyway, the film does get a bit too sweet at the end, but its just so charming and funny. And it’s also very New York City, where one can find the World’s Best Cup of Coffee… on every block.
9. “Kill Bill: Vol. 1”
A film reviled by some and loved by others. I’d say I’m somewhere in the middle. The energy and chutzpah of “Kill Bill” are what makes it more than just a rundown of Quentin Tarntino’s film-geek dreams. Whatever you think of this first volume, it certainly has plenty of blood pumping through it—and out of it. In some ways a brilliant mess that may or may not improve once Vol. 2 comes out this year.
10. “Big Fish”
A bit too whimsical for some, it’s the ending of “Big Fish” that won me over. It blends the real with the surreal in a poetic way. To me, it’s a lovely homage to the art of storytelling.
Other notable films/performances:
The film that I most related to as New Yorker still haunted by 9/11: “The Guys”
The film that makes me want to marry Jack Black: “School of Rock” (just a shade off my top ten).
The best looking/sounding/feeling film that got corrupted by star power: “The Last Samurai”
The sexiest male performance: Alessandro Nivola as the British rock star in “Laurel Canyon.”
The sexiest female performance: Frances McDormand as the aging record producer in “Laurel Canyon.”
Sexiest scene that didn’t involve actual sex: Christian Bale and Natascha McElhone in the car in “Laurel Canyon.”
The best female comic performance: Jamie Lee Curtis in “Freaky Friday.”
Best kid’s film: “Holes”
Best horse film: “Seabiscuit”
Best apocalyptic film: “28 Days Later…”
Best opportunity to ogle Hugh Jackman despite the weird hairdo: “X2: X-Men United”
Best movie to fall asleep to: “Winged Migration”
Hottest Elf: Legolas
Funniest Elf: Will Ferrell
Crudest Elf: Tony Cox in “Bad Santa”
Best reason for Santa fetish: Lauren Graham’s explanation to Billy Bob’s “Bad Santa.”
I could go on forever, but I wont.
Go ROTK!!!!
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
And the Nominees are…
By Susan Thea Posnock
The Oscars have never really been about what is BEST. Instead, winners get nominated and walk away with the statuette because of anything from popularity to longevity to likeability.
Here's hoping “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” is able to score on all of those counts (and more) this year. I think, if the Academy is really creative, it will figure out a way to nominate the film in almost every category. Animated film? Isn't Gollum the most inventive computer-animated character ever created? Foreign Language film? Elvish ain't English.
Perhaps that's hoping for a little too much, but there's no doubt (or little doubt) the film will earn double-digit nominations. With that in mind, here's a look at how (I hope) ROTK will rule at the Oscars this year.
Best Picture. Okay, it's a lock to get a nomination. Can it win? Yes. Will it win? Well, I certainly hope so. I've put my interest in watching the Oscars on the line for it. It's clearly the leader at this point. But I don't really think the race will begin until all five horses are at the post. I think the other BP nominees will be “Lost in Translation,” “Mystic River,” “Cold Mountain,” and “Seabiscuit.”
Best Director: After being passed over for “The Two Towers,” Peter Jackson is as good as a lock for his second nomination for the series. Like with BP, he's the clear front-runner, but an upset isn't out of the question. The competition will be: Sofia Coppola, Clint Eastwood, Peter Weir, and Anthony Minghella.
Best Actor: Realistically, I don't think ROTK has a contender who can crack the top five. Elijah Wood, the soul of the film, is the most likely to get a nomination here. But I just don't think there are enough people (outside of the diehard fans), who take his work seriously. It is one of those instances where a role has been so perfectly cast and embodied by the actor that it doesn't seem like a performance. He is Frodo. And don't give me that crap about his acting just being a wide-eyed stare. The truth is, Elijah's eyes are almost a handicap for him. I've seen him in person more than once and he has huge eyes. Would it be a better performance if he squinted? In a year with less heavyweight “actorly” candidates, he may have had a shot at a nomination.
All that said, my favorite male performances this year have been from Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation,” and Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean.” I hope they both get nominated and I hope Murray wins. He deserves it. The other nominees here will likely be Sean Penn (“Mystic River”), Ben Kingsley (“House of Sand & Fog”), and Jude Law (“Cold Mountain”).
Best Actress: Okay, I admit it. No chance for a ROTK nomination here. The likely nominees: Charlize Theron (“Monster”), Diane Keaton (“Something's Gotta Give”), Naomi Watts (“21 Grams”), Nicole Kidman (“Cold Mountain”), and Jennifer Connelly (“House of Sand & Fog”).
Supporting Actor: Go Samwise, go! I'm a bit disheartened by his failure to get a Screen Actors Guild nomination, but I'm hoping, really hoping, he makes the cut. Yes, it's an ensemble, but if Elijah is the soul, Sean Astin's Sam is the heart. In a film as big as “Return of the King” that kind of magic and emotional center should not be ignored. In that non-recorded interview I had with Sean (oh yeah, and a few other reporters), I had asked him if he felt his work in the pick-ups was better than during principal photography. He said it varied. For instance, he said the pick-ups at the end of “The Two Towers” improved his “it's like the great stories” speech. Then he noted that his “most emotional scene” in ROTK was (in his opinion) better in its original version, that it was more emotional and made him cry more. Despite the raves he's gotten for the scene (and given the nature of the press roundtable I didn't get the chance to ask which scene) he says he feels there is an even better version out there that critics and audiences will never see. Personally, I find that hard to imagine. But his comments are another example of how driven he was in his portrayal of Sam, and getting it right. It is too late to plead with Academy members to nominate him, so here's hoping they did right by Samwise. The other nominees: Tim Robbins (“Mystic River”), Paul Bettany (“Master & Commander”), Benecio del Toro (“21 Grams”), and Ken Watanabe (“The Last Samurai”).
Supporting Actress: Given what a gift ROTK is, I find it hard to be angry with PJ. But…had the Houses of Healing scene(s) been in the final cut, perhaps Miranda Otto would have had a real shot at a nomination here. As it is, it will be a major surprise if she's in the final five. Still, she's got arguably the best moment in the film and she pulls it off perfectly. Stranger things have happened, but I think the more likely nominees will be Renee Zellweger (“Cold Mountain”), Scarlett Johansson (“Lost In Translation”), Marcia Gay Harden (“Mystic River”), Holly Hunter (“Thirteen”), and Patricia Clarkson (“Pieces Of April”).
Best Adapted Screenplay: ROTK will earn a nomination here, along with “Mystic River,” “Cold Mountain,” “Seabiscuit,” and “American Splendor.” As for Original Screenplay, which ROTK obviously can't qualify for, I think the nominees will be “Lost in Translation,” “21 Grams,” “In America,” “Thirteen,” and “Finding Nemo.”
In addition to the four nominations above, I also think ROTK will get nominated for Cinematography, Score, Production Design, Visual FX, Costumes, Makeup, Editing, Sound, Sound Editing, and Song. So, that brings the total to fourteen. I'll get into how many Oscars it could win after the nominations are announced at the end of the month.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
The Oscars have never really been about what is BEST. Instead, winners get nominated and walk away with the statuette because of anything from popularity to longevity to likeability.
Here's hoping “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King” is able to score on all of those counts (and more) this year. I think, if the Academy is really creative, it will figure out a way to nominate the film in almost every category. Animated film? Isn't Gollum the most inventive computer-animated character ever created? Foreign Language film? Elvish ain't English.
Perhaps that's hoping for a little too much, but there's no doubt (or little doubt) the film will earn double-digit nominations. With that in mind, here's a look at how (I hope) ROTK will rule at the Oscars this year.
Best Picture. Okay, it's a lock to get a nomination. Can it win? Yes. Will it win? Well, I certainly hope so. I've put my interest in watching the Oscars on the line for it. It's clearly the leader at this point. But I don't really think the race will begin until all five horses are at the post. I think the other BP nominees will be “Lost in Translation,” “Mystic River,” “Cold Mountain,” and “Seabiscuit.”
Best Director: After being passed over for “The Two Towers,” Peter Jackson is as good as a lock for his second nomination for the series. Like with BP, he's the clear front-runner, but an upset isn't out of the question. The competition will be: Sofia Coppola, Clint Eastwood, Peter Weir, and Anthony Minghella.
Best Actor: Realistically, I don't think ROTK has a contender who can crack the top five. Elijah Wood, the soul of the film, is the most likely to get a nomination here. But I just don't think there are enough people (outside of the diehard fans), who take his work seriously. It is one of those instances where a role has been so perfectly cast and embodied by the actor that it doesn't seem like a performance. He is Frodo. And don't give me that crap about his acting just being a wide-eyed stare. The truth is, Elijah's eyes are almost a handicap for him. I've seen him in person more than once and he has huge eyes. Would it be a better performance if he squinted? In a year with less heavyweight “actorly” candidates, he may have had a shot at a nomination.
All that said, my favorite male performances this year have been from Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation,” and Johnny Depp in “Pirates of the Caribbean.” I hope they both get nominated and I hope Murray wins. He deserves it. The other nominees here will likely be Sean Penn (“Mystic River”), Ben Kingsley (“House of Sand & Fog”), and Jude Law (“Cold Mountain”).
Best Actress: Okay, I admit it. No chance for a ROTK nomination here. The likely nominees: Charlize Theron (“Monster”), Diane Keaton (“Something's Gotta Give”), Naomi Watts (“21 Grams”), Nicole Kidman (“Cold Mountain”), and Jennifer Connelly (“House of Sand & Fog”).
Supporting Actor: Go Samwise, go! I'm a bit disheartened by his failure to get a Screen Actors Guild nomination, but I'm hoping, really hoping, he makes the cut. Yes, it's an ensemble, but if Elijah is the soul, Sean Astin's Sam is the heart. In a film as big as “Return of the King” that kind of magic and emotional center should not be ignored. In that non-recorded interview I had with Sean (oh yeah, and a few other reporters), I had asked him if he felt his work in the pick-ups was better than during principal photography. He said it varied. For instance, he said the pick-ups at the end of “The Two Towers” improved his “it's like the great stories” speech. Then he noted that his “most emotional scene” in ROTK was (in his opinion) better in its original version, that it was more emotional and made him cry more. Despite the raves he's gotten for the scene (and given the nature of the press roundtable I didn't get the chance to ask which scene) he says he feels there is an even better version out there that critics and audiences will never see. Personally, I find that hard to imagine. But his comments are another example of how driven he was in his portrayal of Sam, and getting it right. It is too late to plead with Academy members to nominate him, so here's hoping they did right by Samwise. The other nominees: Tim Robbins (“Mystic River”), Paul Bettany (“Master & Commander”), Benecio del Toro (“21 Grams”), and Ken Watanabe (“The Last Samurai”).
Supporting Actress: Given what a gift ROTK is, I find it hard to be angry with PJ. But…had the Houses of Healing scene(s) been in the final cut, perhaps Miranda Otto would have had a real shot at a nomination here. As it is, it will be a major surprise if she's in the final five. Still, she's got arguably the best moment in the film and she pulls it off perfectly. Stranger things have happened, but I think the more likely nominees will be Renee Zellweger (“Cold Mountain”), Scarlett Johansson (“Lost In Translation”), Marcia Gay Harden (“Mystic River”), Holly Hunter (“Thirteen”), and Patricia Clarkson (“Pieces Of April”).
Best Adapted Screenplay: ROTK will earn a nomination here, along with “Mystic River,” “Cold Mountain,” “Seabiscuit,” and “American Splendor.” As for Original Screenplay, which ROTK obviously can't qualify for, I think the nominees will be “Lost in Translation,” “21 Grams,” “In America,” “Thirteen,” and “Finding Nemo.”
In addition to the four nominations above, I also think ROTK will get nominated for Cinematography, Score, Production Design, Visual FX, Costumes, Makeup, Editing, Sound, Sound Editing, and Song. So, that brings the total to fourteen. I'll get into how many Oscars it could win after the nominations are announced at the end of the month.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Wild Hotel Rendezvous and Oscar Thoughts
By Susan Thea Posnock
So, Friday afternoon I was in a hotel room with Sean Astin and Andy Serkis. Now get your minds out of the gutter people! I’m a hobbit fiend, not a hobbit slut!
That’s right, I participated in one of those wild and crazy press days in New York City. Unfortunately, I was a bastard child from the start. First the New Line folks gave me the wrong time, so I arrived late, then there wasn’t even a chair for me at the cozy little press table, and then after it was over I discovered my recorder wasn’t working. Such is my life. I guess I should just be glad New Line actually let me attend the roundtable, versus putting a restraining order on my obsessed ass.
Anyway, a very kind fellow reporter said he would send me the Sean Astin interview, so I’ll share some of it in a future column. (Update: The bastard never sent the tape!)
In the meantime, some quick thoughts: I think I’m taller than both Andy Serkis and Sean Astin. They are both adorable in person. (I saw them at Trilogy Tuesday in NYC, but only from a distance.) Sean answered a question of mine and looked right at me the entire time he was talking. Damn my freakin’ tape recorder!
I felt very much like a fan. Well, lets face it; I’m not an objective journalist when it comes to these films. I didn’t want to be conducting an interview; I wanted to have a conversation about “The Lord of the Rings.”
I guess these press events are part of New Line’s Oscar campaign. In the coming weeks I’ll be looking at “Return of the King’s” chances in every potential category. After all, this is OscarWatch.
Everybody and their grandmother seem to think it’s a lock for a Best Picture nomination this year—and the likely winner. Ditto Peter Jackson’s chances for Best Director.
At this point, I do think the Oscar prospects are very good. But everyone is always gunning for the top contender. I think New Line needs to keep the film in front of voters, without overkill. Borrow the Miramax charm and drop the obnoxiousness? I don’t think one should ever underestimate the power of backlash. Though, in the shortened Oscar season it seems less likely.
Anyway, the idea that ROTK is not the type of film the Academy usually picks is, frankly, bullshit. It is epic and sweeping and beautiful and well acted. I know I wrote in my last column that if it doesn’t win Best Picture it doesn’t really matter. Well, I lied. To me it will sink the credibility of the Academy to less than zero. And I know there’s nothing the members of the Academy want to do more than please me and have my respect. I’ve watched the Oscars every year as long as I can remember. If ROTK doesn’t win the top prize, I will never watch it again. I know that not everyone thinks it’s the best film of the year or even close. I know there is such a thing as personal opinion. Let everyone who feels differently from me be disappointed. This is the year to honor this film (and by default, the entire trilogy).
Obviously, I’m biased. But I’m making it a point to see all the major Oscar contenders this year. So far I’ve seen “Lost in Translation,” “Mystic River,” “Seabiscuit,” “Bad Santa” (not exactly Oscar bait, but very funny), “Big Fish,” “The Last Samurai” and “American Splendor.” Next on my list are “Master and Commander” and “Cold Mountain.” And, I plan to see films with potential Academy Award acting nominations, like “21 Grams” and “House of Sand and Fog.”
However, I have a bit of a dilemma. I recently left my full-time job to pursue LOTR-related activities 24/7 (you know, taping Elijah Wood on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” catching Sean Astin on “The View” and other important tasks). As a result, I am currently broke. (It doesn’t help that I’ve paid to see ROTK three times including Trilogy Tuesday, and I just saw the trilogy again at Lincoln Center.)
So if you work for a major studio and you want me to compare your film to ROTK, I will gladly accept a screening invite and give my fairest assessment. Maybe one of the films I haven’t seen is better than ROTK. Perhaps I’ll change the name of my column to “Diary of a Civil War Epic Fiend.” Okay, I wouldn’t bet on it, but you never know.
Stay tuned for my detailed coverage of Lord of the Rings weekend, more detailed Oscar thoughts, and my official 10 (give or take a few) Best of 2003 (believe it or not, it includes other films besides ROTK).
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
So, Friday afternoon I was in a hotel room with Sean Astin and Andy Serkis. Now get your minds out of the gutter people! I’m a hobbit fiend, not a hobbit slut!
That’s right, I participated in one of those wild and crazy press days in New York City. Unfortunately, I was a bastard child from the start. First the New Line folks gave me the wrong time, so I arrived late, then there wasn’t even a chair for me at the cozy little press table, and then after it was over I discovered my recorder wasn’t working. Such is my life. I guess I should just be glad New Line actually let me attend the roundtable, versus putting a restraining order on my obsessed ass.
Anyway, a very kind fellow reporter said he would send me the Sean Astin interview, so I’ll share some of it in a future column. (Update: The bastard never sent the tape!)
In the meantime, some quick thoughts: I think I’m taller than both Andy Serkis and Sean Astin. They are both adorable in person. (I saw them at Trilogy Tuesday in NYC, but only from a distance.) Sean answered a question of mine and looked right at me the entire time he was talking. Damn my freakin’ tape recorder!
I felt very much like a fan. Well, lets face it; I’m not an objective journalist when it comes to these films. I didn’t want to be conducting an interview; I wanted to have a conversation about “The Lord of the Rings.”
I guess these press events are part of New Line’s Oscar campaign. In the coming weeks I’ll be looking at “Return of the King’s” chances in every potential category. After all, this is OscarWatch.
Everybody and their grandmother seem to think it’s a lock for a Best Picture nomination this year—and the likely winner. Ditto Peter Jackson’s chances for Best Director.
At this point, I do think the Oscar prospects are very good. But everyone is always gunning for the top contender. I think New Line needs to keep the film in front of voters, without overkill. Borrow the Miramax charm and drop the obnoxiousness? I don’t think one should ever underestimate the power of backlash. Though, in the shortened Oscar season it seems less likely.
Anyway, the idea that ROTK is not the type of film the Academy usually picks is, frankly, bullshit. It is epic and sweeping and beautiful and well acted. I know I wrote in my last column that if it doesn’t win Best Picture it doesn’t really matter. Well, I lied. To me it will sink the credibility of the Academy to less than zero. And I know there’s nothing the members of the Academy want to do more than please me and have my respect. I’ve watched the Oscars every year as long as I can remember. If ROTK doesn’t win the top prize, I will never watch it again. I know that not everyone thinks it’s the best film of the year or even close. I know there is such a thing as personal opinion. Let everyone who feels differently from me be disappointed. This is the year to honor this film (and by default, the entire trilogy).
Obviously, I’m biased. But I’m making it a point to see all the major Oscar contenders this year. So far I’ve seen “Lost in Translation,” “Mystic River,” “Seabiscuit,” “Bad Santa” (not exactly Oscar bait, but very funny), “Big Fish,” “The Last Samurai” and “American Splendor.” Next on my list are “Master and Commander” and “Cold Mountain.” And, I plan to see films with potential Academy Award acting nominations, like “21 Grams” and “House of Sand and Fog.”
However, I have a bit of a dilemma. I recently left my full-time job to pursue LOTR-related activities 24/7 (you know, taping Elijah Wood on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” catching Sean Astin on “The View” and other important tasks). As a result, I am currently broke. (It doesn’t help that I’ve paid to see ROTK three times including Trilogy Tuesday, and I just saw the trilogy again at Lincoln Center.)
So if you work for a major studio and you want me to compare your film to ROTK, I will gladly accept a screening invite and give my fairest assessment. Maybe one of the films I haven’t seen is better than ROTK. Perhaps I’ll change the name of my column to “Diary of a Civil War Epic Fiend.” Okay, I wouldn’t bet on it, but you never know.
Stay tuned for my detailed coverage of Lord of the Rings weekend, more detailed Oscar thoughts, and my official 10 (give or take a few) Best of 2003 (believe it or not, it includes other films besides ROTK).
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2004 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Love Letter to Return of the King
By Susan Thea Posnock
You'll have to forgive me, my dear readers, for getting a bit sappy. I like to have fun and kid around, but something has happened since I saw “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,” and I can't be sarcastic or flippant about it: I have fallen in love.
Oh, you say that it isn't possible to fall in love with a movie? Well, maybe not for everyone. But I've had this feeling before, though not like this in a long time. Back in college I fell for the old Charlie Chaplin film “City Lights.” To this day, it is still my favorite film of all time, and I've seen plenty.
“The Return of the King” is not worthy of an Oscar. What I mean is, it is beyond that, above some arbitrary measure of quality, at least to me. Oh, I fully expect it to clean up at the Academy Awards in February and it deserves to.
But it doesn't really matter. It could win no awards and it, along with the complete trilogy, will stand as a spectacular cinematic achievement. I'm certain that years from now it will be remembered while other films, including the ones that beat the first two Rings movies for Oscar gold, “A Beautiful Mind” and “Chicago,” will likely be forgotten.
As a film fan, (raised on late show movies that my mom let me stay up for), I think there are several reasons why “Return of the King” stands above others.
(For those of you who haven't seen it, there will be some significant spoilers below.)
First of all, it concludes the filmed version of one of my favorite books of all time. It is not faithful to the letter. In fact, certain moments, including one of my favorite passages from the book, did not make the theatrical cut. It may be possible that I'll love the extended edition even more. But I have a sense, if not a professional knowledge, of the rules of cinema. And I know that the theatrical release already breaks some rules, so I don't think it could afford to throw every one of them to the wind. As a fan of the books, I feel a slight ache and miss what had to be cut. But as a fan of the movie alone, not in comparison to my memory of the books, it does feel complete.
The film picked me up and carried me away. It is movie magic at its finest. With the technology available to filmmakers today, many can show us worlds beyond our imagination. It doesn't just look right—it feels right. Whether it is Eowyn's big moment, or Sam's ultimate selflessness for Frodo, it is so well done that it has created a place in my imagination. It co-exists with my wonder for my favorite books, films and other works of art. These are moments that go beyond being cool or moving while I'm watching them.
They're stored along with the "real" memories of my life and are, in a way, as significant to me. To quote a character from “Annie Hall,” these scenes--from the epic to the small character beats--are transplendent.
But the main reason I've fallen in love with the film is its heart. Through the destruction of the ring, it manages to be one of the best action/fantasy films ever made. But the final 20 minutes or so, which many critics consider its flaw, are what makes it truly special to me. It is when the reason for the quest is made clear. Yes, there is more than one parting, more than one thread is tied. It may seem like these are false endings, but they are not. Each is earned by what has come before. To end sooner would be to cheat the film, the characters and the viewer of seeing the tale told to its true end: the moment when life really begins again for Sam, even as it's been profoundly altered.
It's funny, watching the film tonight for the third time—I saw it in a screening last Thursday and as part of Trilogy Tuesday yesterday, but I couldn't resist the urge to see it on opening night as well—I recognized some of its inherent “cheesiness," for lack of a better word. It is shamelessly sentimental. When the remaining members of the fellowship are finally reunited, the moment is almost hopelessly hokey. It just makes me love it even more.
In the end, Frodo and company elicit many tears of joy and sadness and even silliness. Like when I read the book, I felt overwhelmed when it was finally over.
I'm sure when it comes to movies I will love again.
But for now, the Ring has me, and it feels like it will never let go.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
You'll have to forgive me, my dear readers, for getting a bit sappy. I like to have fun and kid around, but something has happened since I saw “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King,” and I can't be sarcastic or flippant about it: I have fallen in love.
Oh, you say that it isn't possible to fall in love with a movie? Well, maybe not for everyone. But I've had this feeling before, though not like this in a long time. Back in college I fell for the old Charlie Chaplin film “City Lights.” To this day, it is still my favorite film of all time, and I've seen plenty.
“The Return of the King” is not worthy of an Oscar. What I mean is, it is beyond that, above some arbitrary measure of quality, at least to me. Oh, I fully expect it to clean up at the Academy Awards in February and it deserves to.
But it doesn't really matter. It could win no awards and it, along with the complete trilogy, will stand as a spectacular cinematic achievement. I'm certain that years from now it will be remembered while other films, including the ones that beat the first two Rings movies for Oscar gold, “A Beautiful Mind” and “Chicago,” will likely be forgotten.
As a film fan, (raised on late show movies that my mom let me stay up for), I think there are several reasons why “Return of the King” stands above others.
(For those of you who haven't seen it, there will be some significant spoilers below.)
First of all, it concludes the filmed version of one of my favorite books of all time. It is not faithful to the letter. In fact, certain moments, including one of my favorite passages from the book, did not make the theatrical cut. It may be possible that I'll love the extended edition even more. But I have a sense, if not a professional knowledge, of the rules of cinema. And I know that the theatrical release already breaks some rules, so I don't think it could afford to throw every one of them to the wind. As a fan of the books, I feel a slight ache and miss what had to be cut. But as a fan of the movie alone, not in comparison to my memory of the books, it does feel complete.
The film picked me up and carried me away. It is movie magic at its finest. With the technology available to filmmakers today, many can show us worlds beyond our imagination. It doesn't just look right—it feels right. Whether it is Eowyn's big moment, or Sam's ultimate selflessness for Frodo, it is so well done that it has created a place in my imagination. It co-exists with my wonder for my favorite books, films and other works of art. These are moments that go beyond being cool or moving while I'm watching them.
They're stored along with the "real" memories of my life and are, in a way, as significant to me. To quote a character from “Annie Hall,” these scenes--from the epic to the small character beats--are transplendent.
But the main reason I've fallen in love with the film is its heart. Through the destruction of the ring, it manages to be one of the best action/fantasy films ever made. But the final 20 minutes or so, which many critics consider its flaw, are what makes it truly special to me. It is when the reason for the quest is made clear. Yes, there is more than one parting, more than one thread is tied. It may seem like these are false endings, but they are not. Each is earned by what has come before. To end sooner would be to cheat the film, the characters and the viewer of seeing the tale told to its true end: the moment when life really begins again for Sam, even as it's been profoundly altered.
It's funny, watching the film tonight for the third time—I saw it in a screening last Thursday and as part of Trilogy Tuesday yesterday, but I couldn't resist the urge to see it on opening night as well—I recognized some of its inherent “cheesiness," for lack of a better word. It is shamelessly sentimental. When the remaining members of the fellowship are finally reunited, the moment is almost hopelessly hokey. It just makes me love it even more.
In the end, Frodo and company elicit many tears of joy and sadness and even silliness. Like when I read the book, I felt overwhelmed when it was finally over.
I'm sure when it comes to movies I will love again.
But for now, the Ring has me, and it feels like it will never let go.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
The Fantastic Realm of Inner-Earth
By Susan Thea Posnock
I was in for a treat when I decided to watch “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” with my sister Ilene. Now, just to give some background: Ilene is an amazing person, one of the kindest, warmest, funniest people I know. But, when it comes to watching a movie, she's the type of viewer who asks things like “Who's that?” “What are they doing?” and “What's going to happen?” with disturbing frequency. She also provides a bit of running commentary. It is sort of like watching a film with the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” puppets, except that she isn't trying to be funny or make sly sarcastic remarks.
She had seen “The Fellowship of the Ring”—but only once and back when it was in the theater. Having never read the book, the world of Middle-earth is not one she is very familiar with. For starters, she seems to think it's called Inner-earth. And, she seems a bit preoccupied with dental hygiene in the “Lord of the Rings” universe: Gollum must have “periodontal disease” and orcs “all need dental work” and look like they have “bad breath.” All true, but with her blindingly white teeth, my sister has a real fixation on this topic. (And come to think of it, isn't it odd that in movies tooth decay almost always equals moral decay?)
Ilene is also very astute when it comes to observing character fashion. For instance, she was quite intrigued by Gollum's waifish style. She wondered (aloud): “How does a guy like that know how to cover his tush?” And I must admit I've thought the same thing (if not so eloquently).
While my sister's observations are silly on the surface they did get me thinking about how each individual brings something different to a film. It's one of the reasons why when it comes to films I love, there is nothing I enjoy more than introducing them to another person. I can only have the experience of seeing a film for the first time once, but by watching it with someone who hasn't seen it, I can sort of pretend—by looking through his or her eyes—that it is new to me.
So, seeing it with Ilene, I came to better appreciate how Aragorn is the “rugged” one and Legolas is the “pretty” one. But I also realized how with a film I'm so “emotionally attached” to, I find myself really defensive and insulted when someone doesn't like it.
This is particularly difficult when it is a die-hard Rings fan that is disappointed. On one level I completely understand why certain fans of the book are upset by certain changes; on the other hand, it is my strong belief that the movies should be judged as separate works and not compared to their written cousin. I received a rather indignant letter from a hardcore fan who accused me of having some sort of agenda in my review of TTT extended edition. The writer charged I was trying to sound enlightened by defending Peter Jackson's arrogant hack job. Obviously this person has not been reading this column, as my thoughts hardly come near providing (or attempting to provide) “enlightenment.” I'm a fan, a geek, pure and simple.
This brings me back to my sister and the thing I love best about watching films with her. She's not a snob. She loves films I consider pretty bad (“Mr. Deeds,” anyone?) and her favorite film, which she can quote from easily, is “The Ten Commandments.” Now there's a film that probably deviates quite a bit from the BOOK. But it is a great, grand piece of filmmaking—yes, with a big chunk of cheese, but still epic. Ultimately, what we're getting with the LOTR films is Peter Jackson's interpretation as he imagined it for film. I've never expected it to be perfect, just true to the spirit of the book. Personally, I think it is.
If my sister were creating it, it is very likely the Uruk-hai “birth” scene might be followed by the Uruk-hai BATH. But what can she do? Those uruks are dirty and smelly and most likely have really bad breath.
I know it's been said before, but the only way to get the film YOU imagine is to make it yourself. Better yet, just read the book again. Peter Jackson has made a film, he hasn't rewritten the book.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
I was in for a treat when I decided to watch “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers” with my sister Ilene. Now, just to give some background: Ilene is an amazing person, one of the kindest, warmest, funniest people I know. But, when it comes to watching a movie, she's the type of viewer who asks things like “Who's that?” “What are they doing?” and “What's going to happen?” with disturbing frequency. She also provides a bit of running commentary. It is sort of like watching a film with the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” puppets, except that she isn't trying to be funny or make sly sarcastic remarks.
She had seen “The Fellowship of the Ring”—but only once and back when it was in the theater. Having never read the book, the world of Middle-earth is not one she is very familiar with. For starters, she seems to think it's called Inner-earth. And, she seems a bit preoccupied with dental hygiene in the “Lord of the Rings” universe: Gollum must have “periodontal disease” and orcs “all need dental work” and look like they have “bad breath.” All true, but with her blindingly white teeth, my sister has a real fixation on this topic. (And come to think of it, isn't it odd that in movies tooth decay almost always equals moral decay?)
Ilene is also very astute when it comes to observing character fashion. For instance, she was quite intrigued by Gollum's waifish style. She wondered (aloud): “How does a guy like that know how to cover his tush?” And I must admit I've thought the same thing (if not so eloquently).
While my sister's observations are silly on the surface they did get me thinking about how each individual brings something different to a film. It's one of the reasons why when it comes to films I love, there is nothing I enjoy more than introducing them to another person. I can only have the experience of seeing a film for the first time once, but by watching it with someone who hasn't seen it, I can sort of pretend—by looking through his or her eyes—that it is new to me.
So, seeing it with Ilene, I came to better appreciate how Aragorn is the “rugged” one and Legolas is the “pretty” one. But I also realized how with a film I'm so “emotionally attached” to, I find myself really defensive and insulted when someone doesn't like it.
This is particularly difficult when it is a die-hard Rings fan that is disappointed. On one level I completely understand why certain fans of the book are upset by certain changes; on the other hand, it is my strong belief that the movies should be judged as separate works and not compared to their written cousin. I received a rather indignant letter from a hardcore fan who accused me of having some sort of agenda in my review of TTT extended edition. The writer charged I was trying to sound enlightened by defending Peter Jackson's arrogant hack job. Obviously this person has not been reading this column, as my thoughts hardly come near providing (or attempting to provide) “enlightenment.” I'm a fan, a geek, pure and simple.
This brings me back to my sister and the thing I love best about watching films with her. She's not a snob. She loves films I consider pretty bad (“Mr. Deeds,” anyone?) and her favorite film, which she can quote from easily, is “The Ten Commandments.” Now there's a film that probably deviates quite a bit from the BOOK. But it is a great, grand piece of filmmaking—yes, with a big chunk of cheese, but still epic. Ultimately, what we're getting with the LOTR films is Peter Jackson's interpretation as he imagined it for film. I've never expected it to be perfect, just true to the spirit of the book. Personally, I think it is.
If my sister were creating it, it is very likely the Uruk-hai “birth” scene might be followed by the Uruk-hai BATH. But what can she do? Those uruks are dirty and smelly and most likely have really bad breath.
I know it's been said before, but the only way to get the film YOU imagine is to make it yourself. Better yet, just read the book again. Peter Jackson has made a film, he hasn't rewritten the book.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Return of the Hobbit Fiend
By Susan Thea Posnock
I know it has been a tough few weeks without a column. I apologize for all those sleepless nights, that constant gnawing at your minds wondering when, WHEN will the fiendish hobbit groupie return and bring some light to my pathetic, dark existence?
Well, I'm back! Lots to cover, much news—good and bad—since I last wrote.
For instance, there's this business surrounding Saruman. As most of you probably know, the character, played by Christopher Lee, will not make the final cut of “The Return of the King.” It sounds to me like it was a difficult decision for Peter Jackson. And, at this point, I've gotta have faith that it is the right one for the film. Fan wishes and actor's egos aside, it is PJ's responsibility to make the best movie he can possibly make. Of course, he isn't going to satisfy everyone. I haven't agreed with every change the filmmaker's have made from the books, but this is the last mile and I'm gonna trust PJ (and all the others who poured their heart and soul into the project) to see it through in phenomenal fashion.
As a bonus though, I was fortunate enough to see the cut scene between Gandalf and Saruman, and now, my dear readers, I will share it with you! (Okay, I didn't actually see it, but I DREAMT about seeing it. In the dream I was having a VERY “special” “Lord of the Rings” marathon at home with Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood, and Karl Urban. True, it was a bit crowded in my little studio apartment, and it was unfortunate that we all had to go topless due to my air conditioner being on the fritz—for some reason the dream took place during the summer—but I digress.)
Anyway, here's the scene:
Gandalf and the rest of the gang are hanging out below the tower of Orthanc, trying to coax Saruman into coming down.
Gandalf: Get down here, bitch!
Saruman: Why should I come down when I can use the fabulously sonorous tones of my majestic voice to make you all do my bidding? You're getting very sleepy, sleeeeepy…
Gandalf: I said get down or I'll open up a can of whup-ass! I'm the one with the fancy-shmancy white robes now!
Saruman ignores him. With Wormtongue as backup, he starts to sing a rousing Barry White-esque rendition of “Can't Get Enough of Your Love.” Gandalf remains perfectly still, but Théoden, Merry, Pippin and Treebeard begin to dance around the tower.
Théoden: The man may not be willing to come down, but he can clearly GET DOWN.
Gandalf raises his staff and proclaims SILENCE! As if that little prick Justin Timberlake isn't enough! Face it, Wizard-boy, you're WHITE and BRITISH and you've got no rhythm.
Suddenly, in what can only be called a moment of decadent whimsy, Wormtongue tosses the Palantir off the tower. Pippin—still caught up in the seductive power of Saruman's singing voice—grooves his way over to it.
Pippin: Merry, what do you suppose this is?
Merry: A lava lamp?
Pippin reaches down and touches the Palantir. Instantly, the “Big Flaming Eye” transfixes him.
Pippin: Whoa. Pretty lights!
Sauron's Big Flaming Eye: Who the hell are you?
Pippin: It's talking, Merry, the big flaming eye is talking!
(At this point in the dream, I noticed Viggo had his hand on my knee, so I sort of lost track of the rest of the scene, but you get the idea…)
Ahem.
Another important development since I last wrote is the official release of “The Two Towers” Extended Edition DVD. I had an opportunity to see a preview screening of it, and even wrote a review for TORN.
In retrospect, I think I liked the EE more than I expressed in my review. In fact, I neglected to include a very important aspect of the DVD: Interviews with designer/sculptor Jamie Beswarick. He shows up in the documentary footage. (And, I believe at one point he made an appearance as “Pizza Delivery Guy” in that LOTR-marathon dream.)
Seriously, the EE is amazing, especially Sean Bean as Boromir rising from the dead. And it provides some great insights even I was unaware of. For instance, who knew that Eowyn was such a lousy cook??? And the banter on the post-production commentary about the use of the line “Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!” is also classic.
In order to fully enjoy the experience, I bought a new DVD player, a glorious five-disc changer so that I can put ALL FOUR DISCS in and never get out of bed.
All I need now is to hear from Viggo, Orlando, Elijah and Karl. And remember to order pizza.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
I know it has been a tough few weeks without a column. I apologize for all those sleepless nights, that constant gnawing at your minds wondering when, WHEN will the fiendish hobbit groupie return and bring some light to my pathetic, dark existence?
Well, I'm back! Lots to cover, much news—good and bad—since I last wrote.
For instance, there's this business surrounding Saruman. As most of you probably know, the character, played by Christopher Lee, will not make the final cut of “The Return of the King.” It sounds to me like it was a difficult decision for Peter Jackson. And, at this point, I've gotta have faith that it is the right one for the film. Fan wishes and actor's egos aside, it is PJ's responsibility to make the best movie he can possibly make. Of course, he isn't going to satisfy everyone. I haven't agreed with every change the filmmaker's have made from the books, but this is the last mile and I'm gonna trust PJ (and all the others who poured their heart and soul into the project) to see it through in phenomenal fashion.
As a bonus though, I was fortunate enough to see the cut scene between Gandalf and Saruman, and now, my dear readers, I will share it with you! (Okay, I didn't actually see it, but I DREAMT about seeing it. In the dream I was having a VERY “special” “Lord of the Rings” marathon at home with Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Elijah Wood, and Karl Urban. True, it was a bit crowded in my little studio apartment, and it was unfortunate that we all had to go topless due to my air conditioner being on the fritz—for some reason the dream took place during the summer—but I digress.)
Anyway, here's the scene:
Gandalf and the rest of the gang are hanging out below the tower of Orthanc, trying to coax Saruman into coming down.
Gandalf: Get down here, bitch!
Saruman: Why should I come down when I can use the fabulously sonorous tones of my majestic voice to make you all do my bidding? You're getting very sleepy, sleeeeepy…
Gandalf: I said get down or I'll open up a can of whup-ass! I'm the one with the fancy-shmancy white robes now!
Saruman ignores him. With Wormtongue as backup, he starts to sing a rousing Barry White-esque rendition of “Can't Get Enough of Your Love.” Gandalf remains perfectly still, but Théoden, Merry, Pippin and Treebeard begin to dance around the tower.
Théoden: The man may not be willing to come down, but he can clearly GET DOWN.
Gandalf raises his staff and proclaims SILENCE! As if that little prick Justin Timberlake isn't enough! Face it, Wizard-boy, you're WHITE and BRITISH and you've got no rhythm.
Suddenly, in what can only be called a moment of decadent whimsy, Wormtongue tosses the Palantir off the tower. Pippin—still caught up in the seductive power of Saruman's singing voice—grooves his way over to it.
Pippin: Merry, what do you suppose this is?
Merry: A lava lamp?
Pippin reaches down and touches the Palantir. Instantly, the “Big Flaming Eye” transfixes him.
Pippin: Whoa. Pretty lights!
Sauron's Big Flaming Eye: Who the hell are you?
Pippin: It's talking, Merry, the big flaming eye is talking!
(At this point in the dream, I noticed Viggo had his hand on my knee, so I sort of lost track of the rest of the scene, but you get the idea…)
Ahem.
Another important development since I last wrote is the official release of “The Two Towers” Extended Edition DVD. I had an opportunity to see a preview screening of it, and even wrote a review for TORN.
In retrospect, I think I liked the EE more than I expressed in my review. In fact, I neglected to include a very important aspect of the DVD: Interviews with designer/sculptor Jamie Beswarick. He shows up in the documentary footage. (And, I believe at one point he made an appearance as “Pizza Delivery Guy” in that LOTR-marathon dream.)
Seriously, the EE is amazing, especially Sean Bean as Boromir rising from the dead. And it provides some great insights even I was unaware of. For instance, who knew that Eowyn was such a lousy cook??? And the banter on the post-production commentary about the use of the line “Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!” is also classic.
In order to fully enjoy the experience, I bought a new DVD player, a glorious five-disc changer so that I can put ALL FOUR DISCS in and never get out of bed.
All I need now is to hear from Viggo, Orlando, Elijah and Karl. And remember to order pizza.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Drunk with the One Power
By Susan Thea Posnock
As a writer, it has always been my dream to create a legacy that lives on through my work. When I was in college-studying classic scribes like Shakespeare, Byron and Keats-I would imagine future students would someday examine my brilliant literary works in the same way. They would pour over my prose, dissect my poetry and marvel at my private diaries. Now, I knew this was mostly a fantasy. (And given the actual content of my journals-from ramblings about the cute guy in creative writing to ludicrous poetry dedicated to the likes of Axl Rose-the idea of someone "studying" my youthful musings was rather embarrassing.)
Alas, I have now discovered my lasting impact on humanity. And no, it is not the great novel that will be read and talked about for years to come. My legacy is this: To help Lord of the Rings geeks hook up.
Thanks to my oh-so-tongue-in-cheek column last week, "For the Love of a Hobbit," Tolkien fans everywhere are dumping their non-LOTR-sensitive mates and pursuing pure, beautiful, "Hobbit" love. Not one, but two matchmaking sites for Ringers have surfaced on the Web within the last week, initially inspired by my tales of dirty, filthy, "Hobbit-less" love. "Sam-Loves-Rosie" < http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sam-loves-rosie/> has sprung up for 18 and over geeks; while the "Woods of Neldoreth" board,
The boards are the brainchild of 31-year-old Heath Rezabek, known at theonering.net (TORN) as Luindil.
Here's the email Heath sent me, shortly after my last diary went up:
I enjoyed your article and agreed with its sentiments [it's the same for us men, you know...] so much that I decided to try an experiment! So now a yahoo-group exists for the whimsical matchmaking of Middle-earthers.
If you feel like it, you can feel free to post this fact! And of course, you're invited to join or look on. Who knows; maybe there are still more who feel just like we do about it all... Tongue firmly in cheek, of course, of course.
He also alerted TORN about the site, and within about 24 hours, there were over 400 members. Within a week, more than 750 posts have been written on the list.
Now, dear readers, I share all of this with you for a few reasons.
First of all, I'm both proud and terrified that my 'lil column could have this kind of immediate impact on people. I had no idea I held so much power at my fingertips. It reminds me of when I was first published, back in 1992, in the Asbury Park Press. As a stringer for the paper, I had the AWESOME responsibility of covering municipal meetings in Monmouth County, NJ. In my very first assignment, I thrilled residents of South Belmar with news that yes indeed; cable was finally coming to their town. Quite a breathtaking moment in my career. But nothing could prepare me for the rush of omnipotence I felt when Sam-Loves-Rosie was created.
I'm also writing about this to encourage those of you who aren't getting your fill of LOTR pillow talk to check out the site. Believe it or not, there really are people as obsessed with the films as you are. They are ready to share their LOTR desire. Just imagine the scene: the two of you discuss the intimate workings of Sam and Frodo's relationship, whilst sipping Merlot near a romantic fireplace, pillows strewn randomly about. I can almost smell the fire as it sparks, igniting your romance!
Finally, the most important reason for sharing this news: to warn (in the nicest way possible) voting members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (you know, the folks who pick the Oscars). You may think we're just a bunch of 14-year-old boys, but you will rue the day you made that assumption. Name Return of the King "Best Picture" next February, (assuming it is truly worthy of the honor), or deal with the wrath of not only the current generations of LOTR fans, but our spawn!
That's right, Academy. We're out there, we are many. And now, thanks to me, we're going to meet and BREED.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
As a writer, it has always been my dream to create a legacy that lives on through my work. When I was in college-studying classic scribes like Shakespeare, Byron and Keats-I would imagine future students would someday examine my brilliant literary works in the same way. They would pour over my prose, dissect my poetry and marvel at my private diaries. Now, I knew this was mostly a fantasy. (And given the actual content of my journals-from ramblings about the cute guy in creative writing to ludicrous poetry dedicated to the likes of Axl Rose-the idea of someone "studying" my youthful musings was rather embarrassing.)
Alas, I have now discovered my lasting impact on humanity. And no, it is not the great novel that will be read and talked about for years to come. My legacy is this: To help Lord of the Rings geeks hook up.
Thanks to my oh-so-tongue-in-cheek column last week, "For the Love of a Hobbit," Tolkien fans everywhere are dumping their non-LOTR-sensitive mates and pursuing pure, beautiful, "Hobbit" love. Not one, but two matchmaking sites for Ringers have surfaced on the Web within the last week, initially inspired by my tales of dirty, filthy, "Hobbit-less" love. "Sam-Loves-Rosie" < http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sam-loves-rosie/> has sprung up for 18 and over geeks; while the "Woods of Neldoreth" board,
The boards are the brainchild of 31-year-old Heath Rezabek, known at theonering.net (TORN) as Luindil.
Here's the email Heath sent me, shortly after my last diary went up:
I enjoyed your article and agreed with its sentiments [it's the same for us men, you know...] so much that I decided to try an experiment! So now a yahoo-group exists for the whimsical matchmaking of Middle-earthers.
If you feel like it, you can feel free to post this fact! And of course, you're invited to join or look on. Who knows; maybe there are still more who feel just like we do about it all... Tongue firmly in cheek, of course, of course.
He also alerted TORN about the site, and within about 24 hours, there were over 400 members. Within a week, more than 750 posts have been written on the list.
Now, dear readers, I share all of this with you for a few reasons.
First of all, I'm both proud and terrified that my 'lil column could have this kind of immediate impact on people. I had no idea I held so much power at my fingertips. It reminds me of when I was first published, back in 1992, in the Asbury Park Press. As a stringer for the paper, I had the AWESOME responsibility of covering municipal meetings in Monmouth County, NJ. In my very first assignment, I thrilled residents of South Belmar with news that yes indeed; cable was finally coming to their town. Quite a breathtaking moment in my career. But nothing could prepare me for the rush of omnipotence I felt when Sam-Loves-Rosie was created.
I'm also writing about this to encourage those of you who aren't getting your fill of LOTR pillow talk to check out the site. Believe it or not, there really are people as obsessed with the films as you are. They are ready to share their LOTR desire. Just imagine the scene: the two of you discuss the intimate workings of Sam and Frodo's relationship, whilst sipping Merlot near a romantic fireplace, pillows strewn randomly about. I can almost smell the fire as it sparks, igniting your romance!
Finally, the most important reason for sharing this news: to warn (in the nicest way possible) voting members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (you know, the folks who pick the Oscars). You may think we're just a bunch of 14-year-old boys, but you will rue the day you made that assumption. Name Return of the King "Best Picture" next February, (assuming it is truly worthy of the honor), or deal with the wrath of not only the current generations of LOTR fans, but our spawn!
That's right, Academy. We're out there, we are many. And now, thanks to me, we're going to meet and BREED.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Diary of a Hobbit Fiend: For the Love of a Hobbit
By Susan Thea Posnock
I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among many of the emails I’ve received for this column. I know it has been all fun and games up to this point, but now it’s time to get serious. Email after email describes how husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, co-workers, casual acquaintances, random strangers on the street, etc. don’t support the hobbit habit. Frankly, this kind of behavior SICKENS me. Yes, it is a real tragedy that could reach epic proportions.
I’ve given this lack-of-interest-in-the-Lord-of-the-Rings phenomenon a lot of thought. I’ve heard some of the fans say of non-believers, "oh, they just don’t GET IT." I disagree with this assessment. The real truth goes much deeper than simply "getting it" or not. And it’s far scarier. The cold hard fact of the matter is: They’re STUPID.
Yes, that’s right folks. I know, I know, it is difficult to accept this, but there is no other possible explanation.
Case in point:
I was standing on line last week for my Trilogy Tuesday tickets when I suddenly fell, madly, hopelessly in love. He was (or so I thought) a fellow “Lord of the Rings” fan, standing just a couple of people in front of me. I was too shy to speak. It was like when Aragorn first spotted Arwen and felt like he’d stepped into a dream…well, perhaps I’m exaggerating. A little.
In any case, my hunky hobbit-minded friend was by himself. I was also alone. Realizing my opportunity to make a Rings "Love Connection" made me giddy. Would he be my date for the marathon? Would we hold hands and look knowingly at each other during significant scenes (perhaps I’d notice tears welling in his eyes during Sam’s "I made a promise" speech). I began chatting casually with others on the line, trying to catch his eye. I was encouraged when he smiled at me whilst I sipped my iced coffee. Finally, after more than an hour on line, I made my move.
"So," I said, trying to sound casual, "how many times did you see the first two films."
"There were two other films?" he asked.
"Um, yes. You know, ‘Fellowship of the Ring’ and ‘The Two Towers.’"
My handsome stranger looked as if a truck had hit him. "You mean, this isn’t the line for ‘Out of Time?’" "Um, no. You’ve been waiting on the wrong line. Actually, there is no line for ‘Out of Time.’"
And thus, his head hanging with shame and embarrassment, he left the line and our passionate affair (oh what it could have been!) was over.
See what I mean??? S-T-U-P-I-D. What other explanation is there for someone who, on a Thursday morning, thinks the line for ‘Out of Time’ would extend all the way down the block, proceed to then WAIT an hour on that line with people talking about LOTR all around him, and still not realize his mistake.
(Okay, perhaps this story has been altered slightly for "journalistic license," but still.)
This is a HUGE problem, people.
Certainly none of the men in my life have loved “The Lord of the Rings” like I do. My last boyfriend, the previously mentioned Elven Brooch-giver, was English, so he did at least SOUND like a hobbit. But he made the tragic mistake of once asking me, "if you had to pick between seeing ‘The Return of the King’ or being with me, which would you choose?" Like there’s a choice? Before him there was the self-proclaimed “Matrix” man.
We’re still friendly, and he keeps telling me that I should write a column that looks at LOTR-fandom versus The Matrix-fandom. He seems to think that there’s some kind of contest. I told him I didn’t want to address it here, especially since I happen to be a Matrix fan as well. Then I went on to explain that there is simply no comparison between a more than 50-year-old literary, cultural and now cinematic phenomenon that has touched millions upon millions and ANY film that stars Keanu Reeves.
Sigh. I’ve never had much luck with love. But, until recently I didn’t recognize the connection between that and LOTR. It’s all clear now.
So, now that we’ve identified the problem, what can we do?
I say there’s only one answer. And, I know it may sound a little harsh, but this is SERIOUS.
Give your lovers, friends, acquaintances a chance. Tell them about the joys of coming over to "our side."
But if they say no, DUMP THEM.
Author’s note: Just in case you missed it, the above column is not meant to be taken seriously. I really don’t want the EX-spouse of some crazed LOTR fan sending me hate mail because they got dumped. And, I really don’t think non-fans are stupid, they just—in this case—have lousy taste. ;)
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among many of the emails I’ve received for this column. I know it has been all fun and games up to this point, but now it’s time to get serious. Email after email describes how husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, co-workers, casual acquaintances, random strangers on the street, etc. don’t support the hobbit habit. Frankly, this kind of behavior SICKENS me. Yes, it is a real tragedy that could reach epic proportions.
I’ve given this lack-of-interest-in-the-Lord-of-the-Rings phenomenon a lot of thought. I’ve heard some of the fans say of non-believers, "oh, they just don’t GET IT." I disagree with this assessment. The real truth goes much deeper than simply "getting it" or not. And it’s far scarier. The cold hard fact of the matter is: They’re STUPID.
Yes, that’s right folks. I know, I know, it is difficult to accept this, but there is no other possible explanation.
Case in point:
I was standing on line last week for my Trilogy Tuesday tickets when I suddenly fell, madly, hopelessly in love. He was (or so I thought) a fellow “Lord of the Rings” fan, standing just a couple of people in front of me. I was too shy to speak. It was like when Aragorn first spotted Arwen and felt like he’d stepped into a dream…well, perhaps I’m exaggerating. A little.
In any case, my hunky hobbit-minded friend was by himself. I was also alone. Realizing my opportunity to make a Rings "Love Connection" made me giddy. Would he be my date for the marathon? Would we hold hands and look knowingly at each other during significant scenes (perhaps I’d notice tears welling in his eyes during Sam’s "I made a promise" speech). I began chatting casually with others on the line, trying to catch his eye. I was encouraged when he smiled at me whilst I sipped my iced coffee. Finally, after more than an hour on line, I made my move.
"So," I said, trying to sound casual, "how many times did you see the first two films."
"There were two other films?" he asked.
"Um, yes. You know, ‘Fellowship of the Ring’ and ‘The Two Towers.’"
My handsome stranger looked as if a truck had hit him. "You mean, this isn’t the line for ‘Out of Time?’" "Um, no. You’ve been waiting on the wrong line. Actually, there is no line for ‘Out of Time.’"
And thus, his head hanging with shame and embarrassment, he left the line and our passionate affair (oh what it could have been!) was over.
See what I mean??? S-T-U-P-I-D. What other explanation is there for someone who, on a Thursday morning, thinks the line for ‘Out of Time’ would extend all the way down the block, proceed to then WAIT an hour on that line with people talking about LOTR all around him, and still not realize his mistake.
(Okay, perhaps this story has been altered slightly for "journalistic license," but still.)
This is a HUGE problem, people.
Certainly none of the men in my life have loved “The Lord of the Rings” like I do. My last boyfriend, the previously mentioned Elven Brooch-giver, was English, so he did at least SOUND like a hobbit. But he made the tragic mistake of once asking me, "if you had to pick between seeing ‘The Return of the King’ or being with me, which would you choose?" Like there’s a choice? Before him there was the self-proclaimed “Matrix” man.
We’re still friendly, and he keeps telling me that I should write a column that looks at LOTR-fandom versus The Matrix-fandom. He seems to think that there’s some kind of contest. I told him I didn’t want to address it here, especially since I happen to be a Matrix fan as well. Then I went on to explain that there is simply no comparison between a more than 50-year-old literary, cultural and now cinematic phenomenon that has touched millions upon millions and ANY film that stars Keanu Reeves.
Sigh. I’ve never had much luck with love. But, until recently I didn’t recognize the connection between that and LOTR. It’s all clear now.
So, now that we’ve identified the problem, what can we do?
I say there’s only one answer. And, I know it may sound a little harsh, but this is SERIOUS.
Give your lovers, friends, acquaintances a chance. Tell them about the joys of coming over to "our side."
But if they say no, DUMP THEM.
Author’s note: Just in case you missed it, the above column is not meant to be taken seriously. I really don’t want the EX-spouse of some crazed LOTR fan sending me hate mail because they got dumped. And, I really don’t think non-fans are stupid, they just—in this case—have lousy taste. ;)
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Diary of a Hobbit Fiend: All You Geeks are Mine
By Susan Thea Posnock
I know this may come as a big shock to some of you. Brace yourselves. (Perhaps some of the more faint-hearted types should take a seat.) Apparently, (and again, you may not be prepared for this revelation), I am not the only person on the Web who is eagerly awaiting this little Peter Jackson flick. Indeed.
Who knew? Just a down-home film from New Zealand and to my surprise (and yours too, I'm sure), it has a nice little fan base.
Now that we've all recovered from the shock, I thought it would be nice to share some thoughts from those of you in this ‘lil LOTR-fandom-gang that have decided to respond to my first two diary installments.
I have not had the time to respond to everyone personally (though I've tried) and I would end up writing an endless column this week were I to include ALL of the comments I've received, but I'd like to share snippets and offer my own thoughts and WISDOM—because I'm wise, very very wise. And just so you geeks out there know (like I was stunned to discover): You are NOT alone.
Regarding the joys of those 10 minutes or so PRIOR to the start of “Secondhand Lions”
Kathy, 40, Indiana writes:
My daughter and I paid $6.00 each to see Secondhand Lions at a Saturday matinee. (She was there to see Haley Joel Osment; I was there for the trailer.) Well, the theater screwed up the showing of the trailer. It was half on the screen, half on the floor. Can you believe my luck?? You think I should have asked for my money back?
Kathy, it isn't about luck. It's about promises broken. Yes, you should have asked for your money back. But that's not enough for the pain and mental anguish you (and others who've written me of similar circumstances) had to endure. I say sue the heartless bastards.
Tijana, 23, Serbia writes:
The trailer gives me goose bumps every time. Wonder what the movie itself will do to me! ;)
You may want to consider taking a sedative before seeing “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.” Can you handle three and a half hours of goose bumps? (Okay, that sounds pretty good, actually.)
Julie writes:
I know, I know. I wanted to go, but (whisper softly) I haven't yet. I thought, okay, okay, I can see it on TV on the 29th. But that didn't work either. I've asked all my friends, even my husband, even my children, to go and see the SL with me, but they all know the real reason I want to go. No one will humor me…I'm well past the age of all the other geeks who wait in Line Parties (I could be Viggo's mother, Legolas's grandmother -- is what I feel when they're on-screen some sort of hot flash or something?), but I've been reading the trilogy since 1965, and I've seen the first two movies so many times the ticket sellers just see me coming and roll out my LOTR ticket. Without laughing anymore…I loved your diary. And I envy you and all the others who've seen the trailer I've waited years to see. I'll see it. I'll go alone if I have to.
Julie, I hope by now you've seen the trailer. Multiple times. Perhaps with Viggo and Orlando as your dates :) … But, if not, just go see it and imagine all of us crazy geeks right there with you.
Regarding “other” movies…
Brian writes:
What are some other movies you are looking forward to?
Well, there's the extended edition of “The Two Towers” in November. I hear that's a real winner. Oh, and the EE of ROTK which (I assume) will come out in November 2004. Nothing else comes to mind at the moment.
Ask Thea-den…
Jennifer writes:
I'm entertaining the idea of my Halloween costume being Gandalf's blue hat and gray robes over an Arwen dress! (Middle-Earth cross dresser?)
Actually, that may clash. You may want to consult a fashionista. Or, perhaps, a therapist.
General all-out fantabulous geekiness…
Susan in Hawaii writes:
Gee, I wish I had Viggo looking down upon me in bed like you do (be still, my beating heart!!), except my husband would probably get more annoyed with me than he is already! Sheesh, I told him it was only going to last until next November (extended DVD of ROTK!!!) and then our life would return to its normal, ordinary, boring,.....(sob, sob) meaningless, empty, hollow shell of a life without any more Lord of the Rings to look forward to.
You share a bleak image of the future. Do you suppose they will continue making movies and putting out DVDs once the LOTR Box Set comes out?
Cristy writes:
You are me except that I check TheOneRing.Net at least once a day, don't have a poster over my bed but have purchased Viggo photographs from a gallery and was thinking about having points permanently glued on my ears.
Well, just remember, those can be quite painful to remove. Don't do it unless you are REALLY sure.
Wendy writes:
My framed RoTK poster is ready - I just have to convince my husband that it is "art" and can be hung in the living room…Attached is our countdown to both the extended TTT DVD and the release of RoTK of course... I felt the need to create one so we would know exactly how many days are left :) My friends are ready to declare me insane.
Regarding the poster, if it's the one of Viggo it is obviously art, since Viggo is an artist. And yes indeed, you're loony ;) But so am I.
Andreea, 13, Virginia, Princess of the Geeks writes:
i also have the elven brooch...*high five* i ordered the aragorn rotk poster, too, (double-sided!!) and i also plan to put it above my bed....no one will ever sleep over at my house again...
You've got it, Andreea. You ARE the Princess. Oh, and I'm not the Queen (see “Corrections” below!!!). *high five*
Corrections…
Nikki, 46, Santa Rosa, CA writes:
Word of advice, if you are going to proclaim yourself "Queen of the Geeks," you'd better make darn sure your "Geek Spellchecker" is turned on, because other geeks will pounce upon errors as quickly as they spot inconsistencies in the films (such as Pippin's tied/untied/tied hands). Uh, "Elvin" Brooch should be "Elven" Brooch.
Ugh. Thanks for pointing out the mistake. (And thank you Sashala, for fixin' it.) I offer no defense. I'm not worthy. I am NOT worthy!!!!
Mark, 37, Texas writes:
Good writing, Susan. An entertaining read, seriously. But learn your language (you used ‘then' to contrast when you meant ‘than'). Writers who can spell carry more authority.
Thanks Mark. All I can say in my defense is that my schedule is such that I tend to write these diaries late at night. (It is 3 AM as I write this one.) I also need an editor! But I'll try and do better. I swears to do better. Otherwise, how can I possibly use this column in my secret plot for WORLD DOMINATION?
Some final thoughts from the President of my fan club…
Debi S., 33, Spokane, WA writes:
Your comments about SL & ROTK trailer are just what the rest of us feel (judging from the chatter @ TORn - and my own response) Alright, now it sounds like I'm kissing up to the queen. So let it be written, so let it be done.... arrg. I'm pathetic…P.S. Just one thing - if I tell about me, I want to hear about you.
Thanks, Debi. Nice “Ten Commandments” reference thrown in there…Don't you know enough about me already?? I mean, I'm sharing my goofy obsession with anyone willing to read this! But to reveal a little more: I'm 33, live in New York City and have a day-job in the exciting world of magazine publishing.
Oh and I really dig these LOTR films (and books, etc.), but I can quit anytime. Anytime.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
I know this may come as a big shock to some of you. Brace yourselves. (Perhaps some of the more faint-hearted types should take a seat.) Apparently, (and again, you may not be prepared for this revelation), I am not the only person on the Web who is eagerly awaiting this little Peter Jackson flick. Indeed.
Who knew? Just a down-home film from New Zealand and to my surprise (and yours too, I'm sure), it has a nice little fan base.
Now that we've all recovered from the shock, I thought it would be nice to share some thoughts from those of you in this ‘lil LOTR-fandom-gang that have decided to respond to my first two diary installments.
I have not had the time to respond to everyone personally (though I've tried) and I would end up writing an endless column this week were I to include ALL of the comments I've received, but I'd like to share snippets and offer my own thoughts and WISDOM—because I'm wise, very very wise. And just so you geeks out there know (like I was stunned to discover): You are NOT alone.
Regarding the joys of those 10 minutes or so PRIOR to the start of “Secondhand Lions”
Kathy, 40, Indiana writes:
My daughter and I paid $6.00 each to see Secondhand Lions at a Saturday matinee. (She was there to see Haley Joel Osment; I was there for the trailer.) Well, the theater screwed up the showing of the trailer. It was half on the screen, half on the floor. Can you believe my luck?? You think I should have asked for my money back?
Kathy, it isn't about luck. It's about promises broken. Yes, you should have asked for your money back. But that's not enough for the pain and mental anguish you (and others who've written me of similar circumstances) had to endure. I say sue the heartless bastards.
Tijana, 23, Serbia writes:
The trailer gives me goose bumps every time. Wonder what the movie itself will do to me! ;)
You may want to consider taking a sedative before seeing “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.” Can you handle three and a half hours of goose bumps? (Okay, that sounds pretty good, actually.)
Julie writes:
I know, I know. I wanted to go, but (whisper softly) I haven't yet. I thought, okay, okay, I can see it on TV on the 29th. But that didn't work either. I've asked all my friends, even my husband, even my children, to go and see the SL with me, but they all know the real reason I want to go. No one will humor me…I'm well past the age of all the other geeks who wait in Line Parties (I could be Viggo's mother, Legolas's grandmother -- is what I feel when they're on-screen some sort of hot flash or something?), but I've been reading the trilogy since 1965, and I've seen the first two movies so many times the ticket sellers just see me coming and roll out my LOTR ticket. Without laughing anymore…I loved your diary. And I envy you and all the others who've seen the trailer I've waited years to see. I'll see it. I'll go alone if I have to.
Julie, I hope by now you've seen the trailer. Multiple times. Perhaps with Viggo and Orlando as your dates :) … But, if not, just go see it and imagine all of us crazy geeks right there with you.
Regarding “other” movies…
Brian writes:
What are some other movies you are looking forward to?
Well, there's the extended edition of “The Two Towers” in November. I hear that's a real winner. Oh, and the EE of ROTK which (I assume) will come out in November 2004. Nothing else comes to mind at the moment.
Ask Thea-den…
Jennifer writes:
I'm entertaining the idea of my Halloween costume being Gandalf's blue hat and gray robes over an Arwen dress! (Middle-Earth cross dresser?)
Actually, that may clash. You may want to consult a fashionista. Or, perhaps, a therapist.
General all-out fantabulous geekiness…
Susan in Hawaii writes:
Gee, I wish I had Viggo looking down upon me in bed like you do (be still, my beating heart!!), except my husband would probably get more annoyed with me than he is already! Sheesh, I told him it was only going to last until next November (extended DVD of ROTK!!!) and then our life would return to its normal, ordinary, boring,.....(sob, sob) meaningless, empty, hollow shell of a life without any more Lord of the Rings to look forward to.
You share a bleak image of the future. Do you suppose they will continue making movies and putting out DVDs once the LOTR Box Set comes out?
Cristy writes:
You are me except that I check TheOneRing.Net at least once a day, don't have a poster over my bed but have purchased Viggo photographs from a gallery and was thinking about having points permanently glued on my ears.
Well, just remember, those can be quite painful to remove. Don't do it unless you are REALLY sure.
Wendy writes:
My framed RoTK poster is ready - I just have to convince my husband that it is "art" and can be hung in the living room…Attached is our countdown to both the extended TTT DVD and the release of RoTK of course... I felt the need to create one so we would know exactly how many days are left :) My friends are ready to declare me insane.
Regarding the poster, if it's the one of Viggo it is obviously art, since Viggo is an artist. And yes indeed, you're loony ;) But so am I.
Andreea, 13, Virginia, Princess of the Geeks writes:
i also have the elven brooch...*high five* i ordered the aragorn rotk poster, too, (double-sided!!) and i also plan to put it above my bed....no one will ever sleep over at my house again...
You've got it, Andreea. You ARE the Princess. Oh, and I'm not the Queen (see “Corrections” below!!!). *high five*
Corrections…
Nikki, 46, Santa Rosa, CA writes:
Word of advice, if you are going to proclaim yourself "Queen of the Geeks," you'd better make darn sure your "Geek Spellchecker" is turned on, because other geeks will pounce upon errors as quickly as they spot inconsistencies in the films (such as Pippin's tied/untied/tied hands). Uh, "Elvin" Brooch should be "Elven" Brooch.
Ugh. Thanks for pointing out the mistake. (And thank you Sashala, for fixin' it.) I offer no defense. I'm not worthy. I am NOT worthy!!!!
Mark, 37, Texas writes:
Good writing, Susan. An entertaining read, seriously. But learn your language (you used ‘then' to contrast when you meant ‘than'). Writers who can spell carry more authority.
Thanks Mark. All I can say in my defense is that my schedule is such that I tend to write these diaries late at night. (It is 3 AM as I write this one.) I also need an editor! But I'll try and do better. I swears to do better. Otherwise, how can I possibly use this column in my secret plot for WORLD DOMINATION?
Some final thoughts from the President of my fan club…
Debi S., 33, Spokane, WA writes:
Your comments about SL & ROTK trailer are just what the rest of us feel (judging from the chatter @ TORn - and my own response) Alright, now it sounds like I'm kissing up to the queen. So let it be written, so let it be done.... arrg. I'm pathetic…P.S. Just one thing - if I tell about me, I want to hear about you.
Thanks, Debi. Nice “Ten Commandments” reference thrown in there…Don't you know enough about me already?? I mean, I'm sharing my goofy obsession with anyone willing to read this! But to reveal a little more: I'm 33, live in New York City and have a day-job in the exciting world of magazine publishing.
Oh and I really dig these LOTR films (and books, etc.), but I can quit anytime. Anytime.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Diary of a Hobbit Fiend: What I did for the Lord of the Rings
By Susan Thea Posnock
I can now kiss my self-respect goodbye. I could excuse that “Fellowship of the Ring” calendar I had up at work (you know, a friend bought it for me), and the Elven Brooch (a boyfriend bought it for me). But now, having paid $10 to see “Secondhand Lions,” it is all over. The precious has me.
Apparently the folks at New Line cinema planned it this way. They were so pumped about attaching “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” (ROTK for short) trailer to “Secondhand Lions,” that they not only put out a press release, they put a COMMERCIAL FOR THE TRAILER onto television ads for the film. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this. Oh the humanity! (And “Secondhand Lions” dropped by 32 percent in Box Office take compared to its first weekend, which isn’t really bad, considering.)
This all comes about after a quiet summer from the New Line camp. But now it looks like they're kicking off the hype/Oscar drive full-force. And personally, I think it's brilliant. Had they started too early for a project that needs no real marketing push, they may have burned people out on the film months before its release. Hey, I know that's not possible among the geeks like me, but when it comes to Oscar potential, its better not to peak too soon. (Though in truth, ROTK has been the expected Oscar favorite since “Fellowship of the Ring” lost two years ago.)
By now there have been countless Internet reports about the ROTK trailer. Shot-by-shot analysis, tales of geeks fainting in the isles, early downloads, etc. I suppose throwing my thoughts into the mix won't add much.
I will say this: Having now seen the trailer and “Secondhand” Lions, I think New Line should just drop the ads for that movie and run commercials for the ROTK trailer. Seriously, besides “Lost in Translation,” it’s the best film I've seen this year. 'Nuff said.
Well, not quite enough. There's still the matter of my self-respect. After watching the trailer (the first of six trailers shown, including “Intolerable Cruelty” and “Elf”), I felt obligated to stay for all of “Secondhand Lions.” All right, I stayed because I wanted to get my money's worth and watch the ROTK trailer one more time with the later showing of SL, but who can blame me for this?
Anyway, SL wasn't bad. It had its moments. Those zany old Uncles, that youngin' with so much to learn! But I find it really really hard to believe that Haley Joel Osment will grow up to look like Josh Lucas.
But it was worth it. Really. I am forever enlightened about the lifestyles of crazy old Uncles; especially those played by esteemed actors Robert Duvall and Brit Michael Caine as um, a TEXAN. And that lion sure was cute!
I won't regret what I did for LOTR: ROTK. Go ahead New Line, use me and abuse me. Because, well, WOW.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
I can now kiss my self-respect goodbye. I could excuse that “Fellowship of the Ring” calendar I had up at work (you know, a friend bought it for me), and the Elven Brooch (a boyfriend bought it for me). But now, having paid $10 to see “Secondhand Lions,” it is all over. The precious has me.
Apparently the folks at New Line cinema planned it this way. They were so pumped about attaching “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” (ROTK for short) trailer to “Secondhand Lions,” that they not only put out a press release, they put a COMMERCIAL FOR THE TRAILER onto television ads for the film. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this. Oh the humanity! (And “Secondhand Lions” dropped by 32 percent in Box Office take compared to its first weekend, which isn’t really bad, considering.)
This all comes about after a quiet summer from the New Line camp. But now it looks like they're kicking off the hype/Oscar drive full-force. And personally, I think it's brilliant. Had they started too early for a project that needs no real marketing push, they may have burned people out on the film months before its release. Hey, I know that's not possible among the geeks like me, but when it comes to Oscar potential, its better not to peak too soon. (Though in truth, ROTK has been the expected Oscar favorite since “Fellowship of the Ring” lost two years ago.)
By now there have been countless Internet reports about the ROTK trailer. Shot-by-shot analysis, tales of geeks fainting in the isles, early downloads, etc. I suppose throwing my thoughts into the mix won't add much.
I will say this: Having now seen the trailer and “Secondhand” Lions, I think New Line should just drop the ads for that movie and run commercials for the ROTK trailer. Seriously, besides “Lost in Translation,” it’s the best film I've seen this year. 'Nuff said.
Well, not quite enough. There's still the matter of my self-respect. After watching the trailer (the first of six trailers shown, including “Intolerable Cruelty” and “Elf”), I felt obligated to stay for all of “Secondhand Lions.” All right, I stayed because I wanted to get my money's worth and watch the ROTK trailer one more time with the later showing of SL, but who can blame me for this?
Anyway, SL wasn't bad. It had its moments. Those zany old Uncles, that youngin' with so much to learn! But I find it really really hard to believe that Haley Joel Osment will grow up to look like Josh Lucas.
But it was worth it. Really. I am forever enlightened about the lifestyles of crazy old Uncles; especially those played by esteemed actors Robert Duvall and Brit Michael Caine as um, a TEXAN. And that lion sure was cute!
I won't regret what I did for LOTR: ROTK. Go ahead New Line, use me and abuse me. Because, well, WOW.
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
Diary of a Hobbit Fiend: My Precious Draws
By Susan Thea Posnock
A/N: This is the first in a series of 14 columns I wrote for the web site Oscarwatch.com from September 2003 through March 2004, tracking my obsession with "The Lord of the Rings" films, the release of "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" and its subsequent Oscar sweep. Obviously the material is dated. I'm posting it here because it is no longer available at OW.
I must say, I've done an excellent job of keeping my “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” anticipation (read: obsession) from consuming me so far. I only check Theonering.net every couple of weeks, and I merely "toyed" with the idea of getting faux fur permanently glued to my feet.
Lately, however, I'm finding that the precious is on my mind more and more. First there was that sort-of-trailer that was leaked on-line, the one shown at the end of the ROTK preview on “The Two Towers DVD.” The hobbit urges started to stir a bit, as I watched it in a rather low-quality format. It was just enough to whet my appetite a bit.
But since purchasing the DVD, I am STARVED. The problem is, I promised myself that this time I would not read every bit of hype and I would make myself as, well, "virginal" as possible when ROTK finally comes out in December. I sort of screwed up the wedding night with TTT. I mean, I LOVED it, but I just felt like we'd been fooling around too much before finally consummating the relationship. So it was sort of anti-climactic.
I refuse to have that happen with ROTK. I will not sully what Elijah Wood (Frodo, to me) says is BETTER THAN THE FIRST TWO COMBINED. Oh no, this year I will fight off the hype. I won't let myself get sucked in.
I know I'm making progress. I've only watched the ROTK preview three times since I got the DVD. And I've only watched TTT about four times. (Of course that doesn't count the countless times I watched the Oscar screener copy I managed to get my hands on early in the summer—but it's just not the same watching it with “For Your Consideration” popping up every five minutes).
I'm also lucky to have my friends support me in controlling my addiction. In fact, they were kind enough to hold a little party (read: intervention) for me recently. Then again, there are the enablers, like Oscarwatch editor Sasha Stone, who gave me the ROTK teaser poster. Bitch.
But that's just a minor setback. And the poster is hanging above my bed, so it's not like I'm constantly staring at it. Vigggggoooooo…
Yup, this year I've got it all under control.
I’m even getting excited about other movies. For instance, that “Secondhand Lions” looks excellent. I will definitely have to catch that on the 26th. I didn’t want to see it opening weekend, of course. Movies need at least a week in the theaters to age properly. Really, this has nothing to do with that report on TORN that the full ROTK trailer will be attached to this Haley Joel Osment crowd-pleaser in its second week.
Bring on the secondhand lions, I say!
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
A/N: This is the first in a series of 14 columns I wrote for the web site Oscarwatch.com from September 2003 through March 2004, tracking my obsession with "The Lord of the Rings" films, the release of "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" and its subsequent Oscar sweep. Obviously the material is dated. I'm posting it here because it is no longer available at OW.
I must say, I've done an excellent job of keeping my “The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King” anticipation (read: obsession) from consuming me so far. I only check Theonering.net every couple of weeks, and I merely "toyed" with the idea of getting faux fur permanently glued to my feet.
Lately, however, I'm finding that the precious is on my mind more and more. First there was that sort-of-trailer that was leaked on-line, the one shown at the end of the ROTK preview on “The Two Towers DVD.” The hobbit urges started to stir a bit, as I watched it in a rather low-quality format. It was just enough to whet my appetite a bit.
But since purchasing the DVD, I am STARVED. The problem is, I promised myself that this time I would not read every bit of hype and I would make myself as, well, "virginal" as possible when ROTK finally comes out in December. I sort of screwed up the wedding night with TTT. I mean, I LOVED it, but I just felt like we'd been fooling around too much before finally consummating the relationship. So it was sort of anti-climactic.
I refuse to have that happen with ROTK. I will not sully what Elijah Wood (Frodo, to me) says is BETTER THAN THE FIRST TWO COMBINED. Oh no, this year I will fight off the hype. I won't let myself get sucked in.
I know I'm making progress. I've only watched the ROTK preview three times since I got the DVD. And I've only watched TTT about four times. (Of course that doesn't count the countless times I watched the Oscar screener copy I managed to get my hands on early in the summer—but it's just not the same watching it with “For Your Consideration” popping up every five minutes).
I'm also lucky to have my friends support me in controlling my addiction. In fact, they were kind enough to hold a little party (read: intervention) for me recently. Then again, there are the enablers, like Oscarwatch editor Sasha Stone, who gave me the ROTK teaser poster. Bitch.
But that's just a minor setback. And the poster is hanging above my bed, so it's not like I'm constantly staring at it. Vigggggoooooo…
Yup, this year I've got it all under control.
I’m even getting excited about other movies. For instance, that “Secondhand Lions” looks excellent. I will definitely have to catch that on the 26th. I didn’t want to see it opening weekend, of course. Movies need at least a week in the theaters to age properly. Really, this has nothing to do with that report on TORN that the full ROTK trailer will be attached to this Haley Joel Osment crowd-pleaser in its second week.
Bring on the secondhand lions, I say!
(Originally published on OscarWatch.com. ©2003 OscarWatch All Rights Reserved.)
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